


Another missed flight

by PurplePirate83



Category: Banana Fish
Genre: Airport scene, Ash Lynx Lives, Ash Lynx and Okumura Eiji go to Japan, Eiji saves Ash, Eventual Happy Ending, Fooling Max and Ibe, In Denial, Letter, M/M, Missing flights, coping with ch.24, diversion, one last crazy stunt, the ending we deserve
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2019-10-09 14:45:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 35,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17408870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurplePirate83/pseuds/PurplePirate83
Summary: An alternative ending where Eiji misses another flight and saves Ash before he’s bleeding out. Since he’s powerless in a wheelchair he has people helping him, of course.





	1. Stage 1: Getting away from the airport

**Author's Note:**

> I always wanted a fanfic where Eiji saves Ash at the last minute before he’s bleeding out. So I just wrote one.  
> I needed some happy ending to recover from the tragic yet beautiful ending of Banana Fish.  
> Please note that this is the first fanfic I’ve ever written and I don’t have any experience in writing such stories. Hope you’ll still like it. There will be more than one chapter since I didn’t know it would be this long.  
> English is not my mother tongue (it’s German).

Eiji somehow had a bad feeling. He knew it was a bad idea to fly back to Japan so suddenly and when still injured. But he didn’t have a choice. His parents were shocked when they heard the news that he had been shot and nearly died and begged him to come home instantly.

He didn’t know what had happened to Ash while he was in the hospital, but he knew that he would blame himself for letting him get injured during the sudden attack. That must also be the reason why he hadn’t come to the airport to see him off. He always thought he only put Eiji in danger and that Eiji would never be safe as long as he would be by Ash’s side. It was Ash’s way to protect him and to make sure that he was safe by not seeing Eiji off himself. Eiji knew that even though no one else apparently did.

But he still couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad would happen. But what could he even do? Being tied to a wheel chair he couldn’t just leave the airport, go back to Manhattan and look for Ash. Ibe and Max would stop him and as powerless as he was he couldn’t do a thing anyway. Ash said he knew how to fly but now he couldn’t even walk properly, let alone run. Damn! If he were able to do that he would’ve already left by now even if he ‘d miss another flight. By now he must be on the Japan Air missing flights most wanted watch list or something.  
Just when he was about to drown in self-pity he saw Sing walking towards him. But something wasn’t right, Eiji noticed right away. Sing tried to hide it but unlike Ash he’s never been good at concealing his true emotions.

“What happened? Did you meet Ash? Did you give him my letter?”, Eiji asked.

“Yes, don’t worry, I met up with him and gave him your letter. Everything’s fine.”

“You’re a lousy liar. Tell me what’s wrong. Now, Sing!”

Sing sighed. “Well, I gave Ash your letter and asked him why the hell he wasn’t coming to see you off himself. He just said he wanted you to return to your world far away from all the weapons and the violence. He said he wasn’t going to see you because he was your friend. But it wasn’t the Ash I knew, it was as if he had given up and nothing mattered to him anymore. His whole body was trembling really hard and even I could hear the pain in his voice. It scared the shit out of me, I’ve never seen him like that.  
It’s just … I don’t know… I just have a bad feeling, you know?”

“I know what you mean. And I knew that Ash probably wouldn’t come. It’s his way of protecting me. He thinks it’s safer for me without him being here. However, I have the very same feeling. But how am I supposed to leave here? Don’t you see the pathetic state I’m in? How can I help you? I can’t even walk!”, Eiji said in a painstricken voice.

“My motorcycle is parked just outside. The only thing you have to do is hold on to me. Are you ready to get into some more trouble for our favorite bad boy?” he said grinning mischievously.

“That made Eiji actually smile for the first time in days. “But what about Ibe and Max? There’s no way they let me go with you!”

“I’ll explain the situation to Ash’s gang standing over there and ask them to create a diversion for us.”

“Ok, then, but that has to be a pretty good one if you want to fool Max. He’s pretty observant and clever.”

“That’s where you come in. You have to distract Ibe and Max by talking to them, ok? Just engage them in a conversation for 5 minutes and draw their attention to you. After that pretend you want to look around at the book store and when I give you a sign meet me at the entrance where you’ll ditch that wheelchair for a really cool motorcycle.”, he said, a wicked grin on his face.

“All right, Eiji said a smile lighting up his face. Let’s pull one  
last crazy and unforgettable stunt together!” 

Well, here goes nothing. Eiji really hoped he could pull this off.

He drove his wheel chair over to Ibe and Max and after some small talk about Jessica and his son he asked Max if he knew what had happened to Ash and the others while he was in the hospital. He had a feeling that Ibe hadn’t told him the whole story since he had still been recovering and hadn’t wanted him to get upset.  
Realizing Eiji couldn’t pull a crazy stunt while sitting in a wheelchair, Max told him what he knew: that Foxx had shot Dino and had fought against a still injured Ash and that Foxx had been killed by Dino in the end who then had fallen down the building and had died as well. He also told him how Blanca had shot down the helicopter that was supposed to be Foxx’s means of escape and that Ash had saved Sing but had lost the suitcase full of evidence concerning the Banana Fish incidents by doing so.

Eiji was shocked. He really couldn’t believe that he missed so much and that Ash had been this close to dying again without him even knowing it. Why was he always suffering this much? Now he was even more determined to go see him again but to do that he had to stay calm and behave according to plan. So after some more talking he told both of them that he wanted to go to the book store to look for some English books for the flight.

They bought his lie easily which made him wonder when he learned to lie like that. Ash must really have rubbed off on him. 

When Sing gave him the sign he drove to the entrance around the corner while at the same time something was exploding at the other side and an alarm was going off. Before Eiji knew what had happened on the other side both of them sat on Sing’s motorcycle driving downtown as fast as possible.


	2. Saving Ash: obstacles on  the way to Manhattan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2: while on the way to Manhattan there’s a roadblock and a huge crowd. Eiji and Sing stop to see what happened and after Eiji finds out the reason why Ash didn’t pay attention to his surroundings and panicks, they look for him at the public library.  
> Will they find him in time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of the happy ending we need where Eiji saves Ash;-)  
> I hope you like it since this is only my second story. It took a lot more time than I thought but I still had fun writing it.  
> Please note that I watched the anime, but have only read half of the manga.
> 
> Thanks for your comments and kudos by the way. It helps me to find the motivation I need to write the next part!

Although it was rush hour in New York, it took them only 30 minutes to reach the city center or to be more precise Bryant Park in Manhattan where the Public Library was located nearby. Luckily they had a motorcycle and could squeeze through all the traffic jams easily so that they reached their destination rather quickly. That and Sing apparently wanted to break the world record for the fastest motorcycle ride from JFK to Manhattan.

But shortly before arriving at the public library there was a huge crowd and a roadblock as well as several police cars and an ambulance that prevented them from getting any closer. They got off and went through the crowd to see what was happening. Sing was supporting Eiji who could barely walk and lost his balance several times and the huge crowd wasn’t really helping him.  
When they finally reached the front and could see what was happening, they saw him, leaning against the wall with a clearly visible gunshot wound in his chest and vacant eyes staring up at them.  
Fortunately it wasn’t Ash but Lao, still holding a knife in his right hand dripping with blood. He had obviously been shot from a point-blank range.

Sing was utterly shocked seeing him like that. Lao had always been like a big brother for him, like family. Still Sing couldn’t believe that idiot had really done that, only because he had challenged Ash to a duel both of them weren’t even serious about. But how could Lao even….? And had it really been Ash who….?

“Sing! Look, over there!” Eiji interrupted his thoughts, motioning in a direction next to Lao where Ash’s revolver was lying in a pool of blood.

“Oh, fuck! So it was really Ash shooting Lao!”, Sing said, clearly shocked at the hard evidence lying in front of him.  
“Well, it is his weapon, I’d recognize it anywhere.”, answered Eiji, voice trembling, obviously terrified.

“But how did Lao get so close to Ash? Even if he managed to stage a surprise attack, Ash is way out of his league. There’s no way he could get this close to Ash. So how did he manage to even injure him?”, Sing wondered, speaking more to himself, apparently lost in thought.

Suddenly Eiji felt panic welling up inside of him. Sing was right. How could Lao get so close to Ash? And how could Ash even get injured by that bastard at all? Why hadn’t he seen him coming? What could have happened that he was so distracted….. click…and it suddenly dawned on Eiji what had really taken place here… No…! Was it possible that….? There was no way…It couldn’t be ….  
The only time Ash had ever been distracted had always been when he was with …. him…!

And then he realized with a start what must really have happened! Oh, shit! His letter! Had Ash been reading his letter? And that’s why he had been distracted?! That would explain why Lao had managed to get this close to him. Eiji couldn’t think of any other way. But was it really true? He couldn’t believe it! That meant it had all been his own fault then! He had possibly caused Ash’s death himself with his damn letter! No, that couldn’t be! Hurting Ash was the last thing he wanted to do! And now he was the reason why Ash would die, if he wasn’t dead already!! How could he have done that to him? He’ll never forgive himself for that, ever! But it all made sense! It explained everything!

Eiji had frozen up without warning, panicking as the truth hit him with such force that he suddenly couldn’t breathe….he sank to his knees in utter desperation, gasping and crying, hands covering his face as an endless river of tears was flowing down underneath.

“Eiji, look at me! You have to breathe!” Sing grabbed him by his shoulders, desperate to get through to him and to get Eiji to finally notice him. Since that didn’t work at all, Sing shook him as hard as he could. At last that got a reaction. He finally looked up at Sing. But he still looked through him as if he were invisible, his eyes were unfocused and vacant, similar to Lao’s dead eyes before. He knew another method that’d get a reaction out of him for sure, however.

“Eiji, we have to save Ash!” As expected Eiji came back out of his stupor when hearing Ash’s name and really noticed Sing for the first time. After a while he finally stopped shaking and began breathing normally.

“It’s all my fault…” Eiji said, still sobbing.

“Eiji, I don’t know why this is your fault and I honestly don’t care at this moment, but maybe we can still save Ash!”, replied Sing, trying so sound calmer for Eiji than he actually was while at the same time looking for clues at the scene of the crime that could help them finding Ash.

“There, Eiji! Do you see the drops of blood leading away from here? Only Ash could walk away with a wound like that.”  
“You don’t mean… “, Eiji whispered, his eyes lighting up with a shimmer of hope.

“Yes, I do. I mean, he’s Ash, right?” said Sing, smirking. “He probably left and went somewhere else.  
That means he could still be alive. We just have to find him.”

Sing then forced Eiji to focus by gripping his shoulders again and looking directly into his eyes. “Eiji, I need you to think. Where would Ash have gone? You knew him best. Would he go to someone? What about the public library? Where would he go to seek medical attention or help?”

He wouldn’t, Eiji thought. Believing that Eiji was finally safe and gone, Eiji doubted he would get medical attention. He’d think he deserved this fate after killing so many people and committing so many crimes. It wasn’t true, of course, but Eiji knew that was how Ash would see it, no matter how hard Eiji had tried to convince him otherwise.  
That’s why the public library was their best option. It has always been like a sanctuary for Ash, a perfect, dreamlike world of peace far away from all the violence in his real world… And it was only 5 minutes away from here. They would look there first.

“Let’s go to the public library first. I’m sure he would go there. It’s the only place close enough to reach while injured.”, he said, his face radiating determination and strength Sing hadn’t seen in a while.

Since Eiji could barely walk and Sing could see that the exhaustion was already getting to him, Sing convinced him to ride the motorbike there. Because of the roadblock they had to take a small detour but it was still faster than walking, especially considering the state Eiji was in.

They parked in front of the entrance and walked inside, all the way through the large entrance hall until they saw the reading room with rows of ancient-looking tables only equipped with lamps and enough space for books or a computer. Eiji stumbled forward as fast as he could manage to the place where Ash normally sat. As usual he saw him sitting at a row of tables where no one else was sitting, all alone as it had always been. He instantly recognized him, his head lying on the table as if asleep, having a peaceful expression on his face. He immediately rushed over to his side, frantic that it would already be too late to save him. But when he saw what he was sleeping on, he suddenly stumbled backwards. Luckily Sing caught him at the last moment. Eiji was so dumbfounded he couldn’t believe his eyes. Ash’s head was resting on his wrinkled letter, the pages looked as if they were read over and over again and Ash’s tears and blood were mixed in with Eiji’s messy handwriting. There were also dried tears on Ash’s face although his expression looked totally peaceful as if he had finally found the perfect world and the freedom he had always been looking for. That’s why Eiji hesitated just for an instant when seeing him like that. For a short moment the thought occurred to him that he should leave him like that since he was looking so at peace with the world for once. But then Eiji remembered all those precious moments he spent with him and his promise that he’d stay by his side forever. That made him finally wake up from his daze and he finally managed to look for Ash’s wound and checked his pulse with trembling hands. Relief flushed over his face when he found a weak but steady pulse but Ash had already lost a lot of blood and looked as ashen-faced as his name would imply. When checking Ash’s wounds, he noticed that his sweater and his coat were covered in blood that was slowly dripping on the floor under his table. Luckily while Eiji was spacing out, Sing had already told the librarian what had happened an had her call an ambulance.

“Sing, come over and help me!”, Eiji urgently called out to him, desperation clearly visible on his face. “I can’t move him on my own. We have to put him on the table and apply pressure to his wound. We have to stop the bleeding or he won’t make it.”  
The only reason Eiji hadn’t passed out already was Ash’s serious condition and his adrenaline rush caused by his constant fear and worry for his friend. So Sing rushed over and helped his panicking friend put an unconscious Ash on the table and while Sing applied constant pressure to his wound, Eiji called Max. After being yelled at for several minutes, he finally managed to explain to him what had happened to Ash, the pain and fear clearly audible to Max in his trembling voice. Max didn’t hesitate for one second and called in a few favors to get Ash taken to a private hospital where people wouldn’t ask too many questions. He told Eiji to meet him and Ibe there and promised him he’d take care of the situation and that Ash would be all right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know of course that there’s no way Ash would lose his revolver, but since those two are not nearly as smart as Ash I had to give them some leads at least...just call it artistic freedom.  
> Lao wasn’t shot in the chest as far as I know, but since I hate Lao for (nearly) killing Ash I didn’t want him to get rescued at all.  
> If you like my story, please tell me in the comments.  
> Maybe I write another story from Ash’s point of view. I always wondered what he was thinking after he was stabbed...  
> As you may expect by now the next part will take place in the hospital with a exhausted Max, a bewildered Ash and a kind of angry Eiji.


	3. Waking up - Max

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash is sent immediately to a private hospital that Max had arranged at the last minute and finally wakes up.
> 
> What will happen if Max tells him that Eiji hasn’t returned to Japan?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I have decided that it would be more realistic if there is a scene with Max before Eiji enters the scene.  
> But I have already written another chapter where Ash talks to Eiji and Eiji gets at least a bit angry at the end. And Ash gets mad because Eiji is still in NYC;-) I’ll post that tomorrow (European time). 
> 
> I just thought it’s not realistic that Ash wakes up to an angry Eiji while he’s this weak. Give him some time to recover first;-)

Another missed flight (3)

Waking up – Max 

Thanks to Max’s fast intervention Ash was taken to a private hospital and immediately went into surgery. Max had luckily been able to arrange that at the last minute so he had been taken to a private hospital owned by an old army buddy of his. The doctors told Max that Eiji and Sing had definitely saved his life at the last minute but that it would depend on Ash’s strength if and when he would finally wake up. 

It took Ash one week to wake up shortly a few times but he always fell asleep again after a moment, still too dazed to recognize anyone or anything around him. The doctors said this was normal because of the after-effects of the surgery and the painkillers they had given him afterwards.

After ten days he finally woke up long enough to finally notice his surroundings.” So, I’m still alive, huh?”, he thought as his surroundings slowly began to take form. The first thing he noticed was that he couldn’t move his body at all. His arms were feeling like lead and he couldn’t lift them even an inch. He hated the feeling of having no control over his own body.  
His jade green eyes had just opened little by little and hadn’t adjusted to the blinding light yet, so he still couldn’t make out all of his surroundings.

“What the hell happened to me? Max, is that you? Where am I? ”, he groaned weakly in a hoarse voice.

“Yeah, it’s me. You’re in a private hospital owned by a friend of mine. You apparently have a never-ending supply of luck. It’s a miracle you’re still alive.”, Max replied, his eyes full of relief that Ash had recognized him this time. Ash wondered if he had imagined the tears in his eyes.

“How are you feeling?”

”I feel like I was run over by a truck or something.” Ash replied in a faint voice, color slowly returning to his pale face. “The last thing I remember was sitting in the library.”

“That’s where you were found bleeding out.”, Max said in an exasperated tone. “ I can’t believe you didn’t even try seeking medical attention. The next time you do something stupid like that give me a warning in advance. Good grief, I nearly had a heart attack when I got a call about what had happened to you. I’m too old for stuff like this.”, he said, running a hand through his hair, exhaustion dominating his features.

“Don’t worry. Next time I’ll get killed I’ll send you a message in advance from the future, old man.”,Ash answered sarcastically, more awake now.

“If you can answer with sarcasm, you’ll be alright.” Max gave him a half-smile, walking to the door. He still had to take care of some issues and wanted to plan ahead just in case.

Thanks to his “son” he hadn’t slept well for days. He had to take care of getting him to a hospital where he wouldn’t be arrested on the spot and where his enemies wouldn’t find him in his weakened state. He couldn’t involve too many people either, so the ones he could ask for help were strictly limited. And he had had a hard time trying to convince his buddy to confirm Ash’s death and to finally sign the death certificate and the rest of the necessary documents. He had also had to cash in a lot of favors to arrange Ash’s second death including a new identity, passport and so on. Since most people still thought he had already been dead anyway his newspaper just published another article about gang wars in New York recalling Ash’s death incidentally.

“Where are you going?”, Ash asked, a confused look on his face. 

“I’ll go tell your “onii-chan ” that you’re finally awake. He saved your life despite being injured himself. Again. Be a good boy for once and thank him properly.” Max told him, a smirk on his face. Ash rolled his eyes.

Then the full meaning of Max’s words suddenly dawned on his face. Ash’s mouth fell open and his eyes lit up for a fraction of a second. No, it couldn’t be … “Eiji … is … here?!” Ash asked incredulously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have one chapter where Eiji will definitely get angry at Ash but I haven’t decided if it’s Chapter 5 or 6.  
> This is the first time I write fan fiction and I need a lot of time for dialogues apparently because I want it to fit to the character’s personalities.  
> I honestly had just planned it out till Ash arrives at the hospital but thanks to the many kudos and kind comments I decided to add some chapters. 
> 
> Please tell me if you like it in the comments, it gets me motivated for the next chapters.
> 
> I also planned a chapter from Ash’s point of view but it’s not done yet because his thoughts are kinda dark. Don”t read it if you don’t want to reread Eiji’s letter again. It will be painful.


	4. Waking up - Eiji

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Ash finally wakes up Eiji visits him and Ash gets mad. He thought he would be safe in Japan. Eiji tells him how he could escape the airport and save him.  
> Since Ash is still Ash he doesn’t know why Eiji came for him at all and thinks Eiji will leave him after knowing he’ll be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just the beginning of the conversation that Ash and Eiji have. Since he is weak it’s not realistic that Eiji storms in and argues with him. Eiji is too kind for that and Ash is too weak. So Ash will have time to recover till the next chapter or the one after that and then Eiji will get angry. I promise.
> 
> That will be so much fun to write;-)
> 
> Inspiration for writing this chapter:
> 
> https://youtu.be/COzRoc3hc3c

Waking up — Eiji

Max left a confused Ash and several minutes later Eiji was on the way to his room, relieved that Ash had finally woken up. Eiji had spent some time here as a patient as well since he had collapsed as soon as he had known that Ash had been cared for. It really had been a miracle he had been holding up until then. He had still been weak to begin with and his wound had reopened, soaking his shirt and pants with blood. Actually he had looked as bad as Ash in his bloodstained clothes… Eiji had barely registered any of that, so focused had he been on Ash. So in the end they had to stitch Eiji up again and told him to rest as Ash was unconscious anyway and needed at least one week to wake up - if he woke up at all. Eiji must have been in pretty bad shape as well since even all the anger on Ibe’s face dissipated into thin air when seeing him. He didn’t even mention the missed flight and his sudden disappearance. He had just been relieved that he would be fine.

The doctors had hammered it into Eiji‘s head not to bring up anything that will upset Ash since he was still very weak and on painkillers. It was thanks to his strong, iron-like body that he was even able to regain consciousness at all. Normally people would die from such a wound and most of all from such a huge amount of blood loss. Especially when they had already had a similar wound in the same area. But even Ash would need much rest if he wanted to recover completely.  
Well, we‘ll see how that will work out, Eiji thought skeptically, since my presence alone is a reason that will upset him. At least that‘s what he expected. After all Ash thought he‘d be safe in Japan by now. Well, here goes nothing., Eiji thought, while entering Ash’s room.

When Eiji entered Ash couldn’t believe his eyes. He gasped, completely speechless for once, his jade green eyes wide open with shock. He tried to get up and immediately regretted it, paling from the effort and grimacing in pain. Rushing to his side Eiji pushed him back into the cushions, gently but firmly, and told him to calm down.

“What the hell…Eiji…? Why are you here, goddamn? Why the fuck aren’t you back in Japan?”, he swore in an irritated voice. He was frowning up at him while his narrowed eyes were burning with anger. Most people would have thought his intense glare looked frightening. But Eiji had never been scared of him and could even hear the worry in his cold voice. 

“I missed you, too, Ash.”, Eiji said, scowling down at him, arms crossed in defiance.  
“No, I didn’t mean…”, he started to say but gave up when he saw the warmth returning to Eiji’s brown eyes.

Eiji sat next to him on the bed so that they were at the same eye level.

“I guess I missed another flight. Again. My parents will really kill me this time. My mom’s a lot scarier than any mafia boss when worrying about me. I think I’ll be much safer here.”, Eiji said, smirking to lighten up the mood.

“But I guess it was more important to save a really smart but dumb American from bleeding to death after reading my embarrassing letter.” His smile faded and sadness clouded his features. “I still can’t believe you really did that, Ash.” Ash had to avert his gaze from the hurt in Eiji’s eyes and abruptly changed the topic.

“But how did you even manage to get to me in your injured state? Are you really all right?”, Ash asked in a concerned tone.

Eiji was actually grateful for the change of subject to something slightly less dramatic. He wasn’t ready to talk about that yet. And he wasn’t sure he could control his emotions at this time. He really wanted to punch that idiot but after all he went through he immediately regretted that thought, feeling like the worst friend ever.

“I’m fine now as long as I don’t move.”, Eiji assured him, wincing a bit when he did. He decided it would be a pretty bad idea to tell Ash he had reopened his wound in the process of saving him. Not now at least. When he was this weak. He’d just get upset or mad or both. He’d tell him later, he decided.

“Now we have matching scars, at least.” Eiji said with a smirk on his face.

“That’s not funny, Eiji!” exclaimed Ash, flinching suddenly from his sudden movement. Eiji was just grinning anyway and slowly pushed him back down again. 

“Eiji…you… how could you do something so crazy and dangerous again…And in your injured state even…And how did you even find me?”

Eiji answered in a serious tone “I just had a bad feeling leaving you alone. I somehow knew something bad would happen. So did Sing. He convinced me to miss my flight and helped me escape from the airport.” 

“I’m going to kill him… after thanking him for saving my life, of course.”, Ash commented with a sarcastic smile on his face. “He’s a bad influence on you, Eiji!”

“Then, what are you exactly?”, Eiji asked curiously, half-joking.

“The worst influence. A person you shouldn’t get close to.” He was actually serious. Eiji couldn’t believe it. He shot him an incredulous look.

“That ship sailed a long time ago. Even you must know that by now.”  
Eiji wondered if Ash actually knew that. Ash had never really understood why Eiji had stayed by his side. And that their bond worked both ways. He was kind of clueless in that regard.

“I guess.”, Ash answered reluctantly, looking away from him.

After a few minutes in silence Ash’s curiosity won out.

“But, really, how did you escape? And how did you even get back downtown? You were in a wheelchair for God’s sake! You couldn’t even walk. You still can’t…not really…” Ash’s voice broke and Eiji could see an ocean of guilt in his green eyes.

Eiji touched his arm gently. “Stop blaming yourself for that. Protecting you was my decision. I don’t regret it and neither should you!” Eiji’s face radiated determination. Before Ash knew how to react to that, Eiji continued quickly.

“As I told you Sing helped me. The short version is that we created a diversion. Or maybe I should say your gang created a diversion while I distracted Ibe and Max by talking to them.” Eiji just had to smile remembering that. That had really been fun.

“You mean you lied to Ibe and Max and they actually fell for it?”  
Ash started laughing and this time his laugh really reached his eyes, making them light up with humor. But he also winced in pain from laughing so hard. “Don‘t worry, Eiji, I‘m fine.”, he said when seeing the anxious look on Eiji’s face.

“So you really managed to lie to them?”, he asked incredulously.

“Yeah, I was surprised, too. But I learned from the best after all.”, Eiji reminded him, laughing as well.

“What happened then? How did you get away?”

“After our quick escape on Sing’s motorbike, we made a little road trip to Manhattan. I swear Sing drives as recklessly as you do. He apparently wanted to break the world record or something…” Eiji complained.  
“Shortly before arriving we encountered a roadblock with a shot Lao and your damn weapon lying next to him. How could you lose your .357 Magnum by the way?” Ash actually flinched at that. Under normal circumstances he would never let go of his weapon. Ever. Let alone lose it.

“I guess I lost it when...” 

Ash stopped himself. He couldn’t tell Eiji that he had lost his gun while trying to pick up his letter again. And that he didn’t care for his gun at all since he knew he’s be dying soon anyway. So he asked something else he was curious about.

“But how did you even know where I was? Or where I would go?”

“I knew you were in the public library because I do know you very well. Better than you think. That and even you couldn’t have gotten that far with such a bleeding wound.”, Eiji answered honestly. 

“But without Sing’s help I wouldn’t have been able to do it.”, he admitted reluctantly. He helped me calm down and think about all the places you could have gone. The public library was the best option. It had always been one of your favorite spots. Like a sanctuary or something. A place where you felt safe. It made sense you’d go there. So that was where we went first. We were just lucky, I guess.” He began trembling. “I’m really glad I found you in time…” Eiji said, tears suddenly filling up his brown eyes.

Ash slowly took Eiji’s hand. “Eiji. I really am…sorry.” Ash wished he could comfort him by putting an arm around his shoulders but he could still barely move his arms at all. Or sit up. Or stay awake. He hated being this powerless. It made him nervous.

“But I’d never have expected you to come back for me... After I haven’t even seen you off…? And after not visiting you at the hospital…”, he explained to Eiji in a guilt-stricken voice, not meeting his eyes.

“You couldn’t have visited me. Charlie would have arrested you on the spot. I knew that.”, Eiji said, understanding in his tone.  
“And I knew you weren’t seeing me off for my sake. You either thought that I wouldn’t leave when seeing the sad and pained look on your face or that you’d put me in danger again, right?”, Eiji concluded his eyes displaying pure kindness while looking into his.

Ash stared at him in amazement, a stunned look on his face. Then he relaxed, closing his eyes for a moment.  
Trying to hide a yawn he said in a relieved tone “I knew that you’d understand it. Even if no one else did.”  
Ash hoped Eiji wouldn’t notice how exhausted he was. At this point he could hardly keep his eyes open. Maybe the next time he woke up Eiji wouldn’t be there, not after what he had just done. That must have been the final straw. Even Eiji wouldn’t forgive him this time.

Eiji stared at him intently, noticing how fatigue slowly clouded his features. “Well, it was still stupid.”, Eiji noted. “I wanted to see you one last time before I left.” Ash didn’t say anything, too sleepy to argue.

Suddenly Eiji scrutinized Ash with an intensity he had never seen before. Anger flashed in his brown eyes. “You look white as a sheet and your eyes are filled with fatigue. Don’t try to hide that from me!” Ash’s eyes widened with shock at Eiji’s upset tone.

“Go back to sleep.”, he said in a softer voice. “You’ll need it.”

“I’m fine...”, Ash said stubbornly, avoiding eye contact. Fuck, he just couldn’t fool Eiji.

Eiji rolled his eyes dramatically at his tough-guy act, just glaring at him. But after seeing the miserable look on his face, his brown eyes flooded with compassion while he assured him “I’ll be right here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will probably about Max and Ash and the one after that about Ash and Eiji.
> 
> I won’t be able to post a chapter every day like in the last two days. I did that because those two stories had already been written as one story but since the text was too long I divided them into two parts.  
> Unfortunately I’m not really capable of writing short texts;-)
> 
> This story will have a happy ending eventually.


	5. The Rocky Road to a New Dawn (1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It‘s a chapter about Max and Ash where Max tells him all the things Eiji wouldn’t. And Ash dies (on paper) to be reborn again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it took so long. Here‘s a new chapter about Ash and Max.  
> I know Max isn‘t working for the NY Tribune at the end of the anime but in my story he is because it fits my story better that way.
> 
> The chapter about Ash and Eiji with slightly more drama and an angry Eiji will be posted next week.

When Ash woke up again a storm was raging outside. As if mirroring the tumult of feelings boiling inside of him. Hope and happiness, desperation and fear, frustration and disheartenment, comfort and worry. How fitting, Ash thought sarcastically.  
Dark blue clouds were covering the formerly bright azure sky. Joining hands with the fading and weak glow of the sun hiding in the background it seemed as if the sky was bleeding. The gloomy play of the elements flooded his room, seemingly pulling him back to the sinister world he belonged to.

Eiji wasn’t here anymore. Well, of course he wasn’t... Although he had promised  
him he would be. _I’ll_ be _right_ _here_. His expression then had been filled with so much compassion and worry that he had been so close to believing him. It was selfish of him, he knew, but deep inside he had hoped Eiji would still be right here at his side, but… He wondered why Eiji would even stay for someone like him? Such an amazing person as Eiji could be easily friends with anyone. He was kind, warm-hearted, compassionate and so pure and innocent… So why would he choose a heartless creature of darkness like him, a devil, a murderer? It made no sense why he wanted to stay by his side. His logical mind painfully reminded him that Eiji staying close to him was just wishful thinking.  
Fuck, he had nearly killed Eiji, even failing to protect him! He was the reason why he could barely walk and was tied to a damn wheel chair!! He should keep his distance from Eiji. It was better that way. He would only drag him down into the darkness with him, getting him killed eventually. He just couldn’t do that to him…  
However, after that final reckless stunt he had pulled…he’d surely never forgive him anyway… Eiji had probably only waited until he was waking up and once he had seen that he was alright he’d left for Japan again. He only hadn’t told him so because Eiji was too nice a person and didn’t want to upset him in his pathetic state.

Damn, he had never expected Eiji of all people to find him while bleeding out. He used to always plan five steps ahead of time but for once he hadn’t bothered knowing he’d be dying soon anyway. So the worst-case scenario of Eiji finding him was one he hadn’t seen coming at all… Holy shit, how could he have done that to him? He was the worst person ever. No wonder Eiji wasn’t here anymore…

Totally lost in thought he nearly jumped when Max entered his room again, cursing at the pain the sudden movement had caused. Shit, he had never even heard him come in … he really wasn’t up to his game! He really hated being caught off guard. Talk about an easy target…on the streets he would have been long dead by now…  
All this medication was really fucking up his usually sharp mind…Ash hated feeling so pathetic and useless but he hated even more having to rely on others for help.

“Are you all right? You look really pale.” Max said, suddenly concerned. When he saw Ash’s face twisted in pain, trying to lie back down again, realization hit him. “You never heard me come in, did you?” He looked taken aback and worried.

“Shut up! I’m fine.”, he said stubbornly, green eyes boring holes into the ceiling above him. After a moment he admitted reluctantly “But I still don’t have complete control over my body. It’s making me nervous.”

“Don’t worry. No one knows you’re here. This is a private hospital of an old Army buddy of mine. It’s safe.”, he assured him. “Only a few selected people know you’re here.” Ash still looked doubtful, already thinking ahead of every worst-case scenario. After a short silence he asked the question he had always been curious about:

“So, tell me, Dad”, Ash laughed bitterly, “how the hell could you let Eiji escape from the airport? He could be safe by now, you know? In Japan. Far away from me.”  
Ash’s green eyes filled up with true regret, crossing his arms over his chest in defiance. Even while severely injured Ash only worried about Eiji, not caring about himself at all. Eiji had reacted exactly the same way when he had been badly wounded. The irony wasn’t lost on Max…He smiled. If Ash could only be a bit more honest with himself and just admit how much he cared for Eiji, it would make things so much easier. He sighed dramatically.

“So time for smalltalk with your “dad” is over, I see…”, Max answered with a sardonic smile running away from his face, trying to lighten up the frosty atmosphere. The dark blue storm clouds outside devouring the sun’s warmth weren’t helping.

A moment later he got serious again. “I honestly never thought Eiji could escape in a fucking wheel chair.”, he admitted uneasily, guilt apparent in his eyes while nervously running a hand through his hair. “And besides, you of all people should be really grateful that he did escape. You’d be dead by now if it weren’t for Eiji.”, he added bluntly, frowning down at him in frustration.

“Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing…”, Ash said more to himself, looking out of the window. The rain clouds appeared even more threatening now and the outside world seemed to drown in pitch-black darkness.

“Are you fucking serious?!”, Max grew even more agitated while gripping his shoulders forcing Ash to face him. The hurt reflected in his features made Ash actually flinch and lowering his gaze.

“You wouldn’t say that if you had seen Eiji desperately applying direct pressure to your wound while being severely injured himself.” Max’s furious eyes mirrored the raging storm outside. “He could barely stand, his face was glistening with sweat and tears were running down his pale face.”, Max’s stare shot arrows coated in pain and hurt at him, still shivering while remembering that situation in vivid pictures in his mind.

“He did what?!” Ash’s green eyes were glowing fiercely with pure horror. He got so worked up that he moved too fast. All of this was coming as a shock to him since he had no recollection at all of the past events. He suddenly grimaced with pain, clutching his side and turning white as a ghost. Max gently pushed him down again and told him to lie still. Max knew he’d get upset but there was no gentle way of telling him. If it concerned Eiji he would get upset anyway. But someone had to tell that idiot that Eiji had actually risked his own life while saving him. Or Ash would never understand how much he meant to Eiji. Ash confirmed this by asking incredulously “How – How could he do that?”, color slowly returning to his ashen face. “What about his own injury?”, Ash’s eyes were tormented by guilt and worry.

“Eiji didn’t care for his own injury. Or even noticed. He only remained standing thanks to the adrenaline rush running through his veins. According to Sing Eiji was scared to death when seeing you. But he didn’t hesitate for long and tried desperately to stop the bleeding. Eiji had to be in pain as well, you know.” Ash’s downcast eyes were overflowing with regret, his hands tightening into fists. Max sat on the side of his bed, looking directly at him. “Eiji didn’t notice anyone else around him. All attempts to get him to let go of you were in vain. You know how stubborn Eiji can be when it comes to you. His eyes were on fire, burning golden with an unbreakable resolve, dead set on saving you. Protecting you. At all costs.” Ash was at a loss for words. Feeling his chest tightening, he was clutching it firmly, breathing really hard. Max’s words had turned into a thousand daggers boring directly into his bleeding heart. Ash wanted to tell Max to stop talking but he couldn’t find his voice again. So Max gave him the final blow that he obviously deserved. At least Ash felt that way by now. “Eiji was risking his life for you. You realize that, don’t you, Ash?” Ash slowly nodded, an arm covering his eyes, a silent tear running down his cheek.  
“He never left your side. Only when you had been taken care of at the hospital, he finally collapsed. I don’t even know how he managed to stay conscious in his state until then.”, Max admitted. “That boy will do anything for you. When will you finally get that?” Max asked incredulously. “You’re really dense sometimes for someone this smart.” Ash just smiled sadly up at him.

“So…Where is he now? Obviously he’s not here anymore. Finally decided to leave me after all I’ve put him through, huh? Can’t really blame him…” Although it was selfish of him he had still hoped Eiji would still be close by when waking up. Not that he’d admit that to Max. Instead he hid behind his walls of indifference. “That’s the first smart thing he’s done so far. Staying away from me.” He concluded stubbornly, a bitter smile on his lips.

“Ash, of course he didn’t leave! He’d never do that to you.” He pointed at him, a storm of frustration overpowering his eyes. “You’re really a lost cause, you know that?”,he scolded him, a look of resignation on his face. “After what I’ve just told you, you should know better! Were you even listening to me?” Max said, clearly disappointed.

Despite hearing those harsh words happiness made Ash’s jade green eyes shine like emeralds for a fraction of a second. His blonde hair shimmered golden touched by the bright sunshine after the storm and the clouds both had slowly taken their leave, freeing Ash from the gloomy darkness around him. Eiji was still here after all.  
But then his sadness returned when realizing his hopeless situation again. That violence would always follow him everywhere. That he would never be able to achieve complete freedom. That he’d never be able to take off into the air leaving all his baggage behind like Eiji had done. There was no way out for him, his life was a one-way street directly leading to a dead-end.

“Eiji should go to Japan like he had planned. I’ll just mix him up in violence and warfare again. Or I’d bring the violence to Japan. I can’t do that to him. He’ll only suffer as long as he stays by my side.” It had sounded much more convincing in his mind. Now it sounded like a computer generated automatic response. Like he was saying it on autopilot. Max saw what he tried to do and asked sadly “Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” Heaving a sigh in frustration he simply asked “What do you want me to say? As long as I have enemies looking for me we have no other choice but to lead separate lives. _We_. Not _I_. That was a start at least.  
Max got up from the chair next to his bed and sat on the side of his bed again. He wanted to be at the same eye level when he told him the next part.

“Ash, you now have a once-in-a-lifetime chance to turn your life around. You’ve officially been confirmed dead, so no one will look for you anymore.”Max was smiling warmly at him.

“Huh?” Ash’s empty stare told Max he had no clue what he was talking about. “What do you mean?”, he asked bewildered.

“Here you go. “He gave him the latest New York Tribune. “I asked my boss to let me publish another article about gangs in New York and I incidentally confirmed your death at the public library as well. Besides I told you that this hospital belongs to an Army buddy of mine. I saved his ass so many times over there that he agreed to fake your death and signed the official papers for it. So, congratulations, gang leader Ash Lynx is officially deceased now. Again. Your enemies won’t be looking for you anymore. You’re free.”, he explained to him. Ash still looked skeptical. “Seems too easy for me. They won’t give up that easily. You can’t be that naive.” He wanted to believe that he was finally free, but he had already played out various options and worst-case scenarios in his mind. He just couldn’t help it.

“You forget that most of your enemies already think you’re dead. Or they will at least believe it now. The New York Tribune carries a lot of weight in the media world. If they publish it people will take it at face value. Oh, and you’ll need this  
now that you’re dead.”, he said, handing him a small package.

“It’s a farewell gift from your former teacher.” Ash eyed the package and then him suspiciously. “Stop glaring at me like that and just open it.”, Max complained.  
After some hesitation Ash reluctantly opened it. Inside was an ID card and a passport with a new name. They both looked genuine or at least flawlessly and professionally faked.

“Why?”, Ash asked immediately, already wondering what favor he had to carry out as repayment. Max was actually laughing at him. “Ash, you know why. Don’t play dumb with me, ok?” Ash smirked up at him, crossing his arms.  
“But how did you even get those? Last I knew you’re neither a spy nor a criminal mastermind. Even if you have a safe house at the docks.”  
“Blanca.”Ash’s eyes slipped him a curious glance, then suddenly frowned. “Oh, right.”Max had already told him that it was a gift from Blanca. His mind was apparently going in slow motion today. He didn’t like that. Or maybe he was just tired.  
“But you don’t even know Blanca. How would you contact him?” As always Ash was looking for the ulterior motive behind his words. Or behind Blanca’s actions. Maybe Blanca wanted his help with some mission for the passport? He never received gifts without strings attached to it. “I get that you probably did it just for me. Whatever the reason…But what does Blanca want in return? I never get gifts without having to repay the favor eventually.” There was shock and disgust on Max‘s face. He knew what Ash was hinting at. And was that…worry?  
“There really isn’t a catch. Blanca has already returned to the Caribbean. Sing handled the rest. Seems he forced Yut-Lung to ask Blanca for help.”

“That bitch would never help me! He fucking hates me! And he hates Eiji even more!” Ash growled, his jade green eyes flaming up with pure hatred. He winced again.

“Don’t get so worked up every time. Just lay still, goddammit! Max scolded him.

“Apparently Sing can handle him. Seems Yut-Lung has a soft spot for him. Sing was really shocked seeing you bleeding out in that library and learning that it was Lao who had stabbed you. He blamed himself for that and wanted to help. So he talked some sense into Yut-Lung, mainly that you and Eiji nearly dying was his fault to begin with and to put things right again. Make it up to you.”, he explained in more detail.

Ash still didn’t look convinced at all. “Stop looking for an ulterior motive. Sing promised that Yut-Lung won’t interfere. According to him Yut-Lung doesn’t see you as an enemy anymore. He was just jealous of your relationship with Eiji.  
You don’t have to use these documents but keep them just in case. Maybe you’ll need them sooner than you think.” Having a devilish grin on his face, he winked at him. Ash just rolled his eyes dramatically.

“ Honestly, Ash, just do yourself a favor and talk to Eiji, all right? And I mean really talk to him. About everything. He’ll tell you the whole story. But after that stunt you pulled he’ll never leave your side again. That’s for sure…”, he told him while leaving his room, looking back at him. Max wondered when Ash would understand how much he meant to Eiji. He secretly hoped Eiji would get mad and tell him what a big idiot he was. And then ask him to come to Japan with him.

Ash just stared at him, wide-eyed. And then he stubbornly faced the other way, hiding from Max the smile that was slowly spreading across his face.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have honestly no idea how many chapters that story will have since I just write everything as I go along and most of my ideas are spontaneous. 
> 
> I only know there will be a happy ending;-)
> 
> Thank you so much for all your kudos and comments. They make my day and give me the motivation I need for the next chapters. Especially since this is my first story and I don’t know what I’m really doing and I’m still learning;-)


	6. The Rocky Road to A New Dawn (2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eiji tries to convince Ash to come to Japan with him.  
> But that turns out more difficult than he imagined since Ash remains totally stubborn and tries to push him away...
> 
> Will he be able to convince him in the end?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I just watched episode 11 too often, so this chapter is partly influenced by that. I can’t help it since it’s my favorite episode;-)

A rocky road to a new dawn (2)

The next morning Eiji entered Ash’s room. It was still early so Ash was still sleeping. Eiji sat on the chair next to his bed and waited for him to wake up. The blinds had only been raised a bit upward so that the bright daylight wouldn’t wake him up. Since the blinds, as well as the majority of the medical equipment in this hospital, had been shipped from Europe, they were of a dark grey color but had tiny oval holes in it. So the daylight was breaking through them and different patterns drawn by the sunlight danced on Ash’s face and hair, giving him a partially golden glow.

Usually Ash had a pained expression on his face, no matter if he was sleeping or unconscious.  
But this time he looked really peaceful sleeping like that, his features relaxed for once, some strands of his messy blonde hair having fallen above his eyes. Eiji wanted to move them away from his face, to touch him, hold his hand, just show him he was there but he was too afraid to wake him up. So he just leaned over the right side of his bed. He placed his elbow on the side of his bed, his head resting in his right hand and just watched him sleep. Eiji was so relieved Ash still had a heartbeat he could actually hear. That he could still hear him breathing … Just hearing these sounds nearly brought tears to his eyes…

Eiji had spent most of last night reflecting for the millionth time on Ash’s drastic final decision and his motives for possibly having reacted like that. In part he understood his reasoning and he had always known he was having some suicidal thoughts at times but he was still shocked and sad that he had really given up on his life that easily. That he hadn’t valued his life and hadn’t gotten help or had even cared what would happen to him. It hurt to realize that Ash had apparently never thought about the people he would leave behind. Like him or Max. But most of all he couldn’t forget Ash’s relaxed expression when bleeding out, nearly smiling and totally at peace with the world for once. That had shocked him even more than the fact he bled out lying on his farewell letter, Ash’s tears mixing in with his messy handwriting, as if that damn letter was his most valuable possession…

Max didn’t have to tell him that he was the only one who could convince Ash to come to Japan with him and start a new life there. That he was the only one Ash was actually trusting (even though he was too stubborn to admit that) and really listening to. But Eiji wondered how to approach such a sensitive topic. He was never good at hiding his emotions, especially in front of Ash. He was afraid they would overwhelm him. But Max and Ibe had both convinced him to let his feelings run free because Ash needed to comprehend the gravity of his decision and that he hurt people close to him, even though not intentionally. Even Sing agreed and told him to let it all out, so that idiot would finally understand why Eiji had risked his life to save him. That he needed someone to yell at him what an idiot he really had been. That he really deserved a second chance and a better life with him. That now was his once-in-a-lifetime chance to grasp it. Most of all he had to convince Ash that he wanted to spend his life with Ash as well. With Ash’s head-strong personality that wouldn’t be easy, that was for sure… So Eiji spent most of last night thinking about that conversation. He worried how he could make that stubborn idiot believe that he deserved a fresh start in life and to come to Japan with him. To a country where he was safe and didn‘t need a gun to survive. Where he could find the freedom he had always been looking for.

While Eiji tried to come up with a way to start this emotionally loaded conversation his tiredness finally caught up to him. His eyes felt heavier with every minute that passed while sitting there until the elbow supporting his head finally became limp, unable to support his weight any longer and his head slowly descended onto Ash’s chest, his right arm falling limply onto Ash’s shoulder, his other arm resting at the side of the bed on Ash’s pale arm. Since he was still on medication Ash was dead to the world so he didn’t notice Eiji’s movement at all. He just shifted slightly and slept through  
all of that.

When Ash finally woke up several hours later the sun was already high up in the sky. He woke up slowly, drowsy from sleep and wondered where the hell he was again and why he was here. He slowly remembered that this was a private hospital Max had taken him to. Those damn painkillers still clouded his mind although according to Max the dosage had apparently been reduced considerably. He eventually wondered why his chest felt so heavy and his breathing felt more difficult than usual … until he noticed there was someone lying on … his chest? Why? Who? It took him a moment to realize it was… Eiji? What the hell …?

“Eiji?”, Ash asked in confusion, waiting for a reaction, a hint of a blush running over his face. But why? The first thing that came to his mind was that Eiji must be hurt. While panic surged through him and he tried to check if Eiji was alright, Eiji shifted slightly from Ash’s sudden movement, rubbed at his eyes sleepily and looked up at Ash in a daze. “Ash?, he asked in a voice still hoarse from sleep. Relief flooded Ash’s pale face and he finally relaxed. When Eiji realized where he was and what or rather who he had been lying on the whole time he quickly shot back, an intense blush suddenly creeping over his face as well.  
“I’m so sorry, Ash, are you alright? I must have dozed off. I didn’t really get much sleep last night.”, he babbled nervously, his cheeks still faintly red while his words were pouring out so lightning fast that even Ash could barely keep up. Ash nearly had to smile but then he realized what Eiji had just told him. “Why?”, he asked, worry clouding his green eyes.

“Because we need to talk about what happened, Ash. And I had no idea how to broach such a … difficult … topic.”, sadness reflected in his downcast brown eyes.

Ash froze up when hearing Eiji’s voice falter, bracing himself for what was to come. Bracing himself for the rejection that would undeniably follow. Eiji would surely tell him now that he had hurt him so much that Eiji couldn’t take it any longer. That he would leave for Japan and never wanted to see him again after finding him bleeding out. That he had suffered enough while by his side. That he deserved someone better than Ash who didn’t permanently endanger his life and put him through so many hardships… And he was right. But why was that still so hard to accept for him? He wanted Eiji to leave him, to be safe, to return home, didn’t he…? But still, when Ash only imagined Eiji leaving him, panic rose up inside of him, gripping his blanket so tightly his arms were trembling and his knuckles turned white as a sheet.

When Eiji noticed Ash’s inner turmoil he sat on the side of his bed and just placed one hand over Ash’s, tentatively so he could pull back if he wanted to. He didn’t. But he relaxed slightly, the grip on the blanket loosening. “But honestly, Ash, there’s no way I’m leaving you. Even if you tell me to. I know you don’t really mean it and I wouldn’t listen anyway. Especially after that stunt you’ve just pulled.”, he told him reassuringly, his eyes overflowing with compassion while looking into his. Relief flushed through Ash. Not that he would ever admit that… But Eiji saw the light returning to his eyes anyway.

Ash hesitated for a moment. “But…why would you do that? After finding me like that…Just look at the state you’re in…you’re still in pain… That’s all on me…” Shadows of guilt had clouded Ash’s eyes again, the brightness sparkling there only seconds ago quickly fading away. “You can’t stay here with me, Eiji! I’ll only bring you trouble. Just like now!”, he called out, suddenly pulling his hand back from Eiji’s, crossing his arms in defiance and turning his face away from him towards the window. But Eiji didn’t fall for it at all because he had already seen the worry filling his eyes. Why did that idiot always have to be this stubborn? Why couldn’t he just be honest for once? At least to himself? Or around him? Ash and his tough-guy act really drove him mad sometimes! He suddenly got up from the bed, turning away from Ash while trying to control his emotions. And failing miserably. His anger finally won out. Sighing, he finally turned back to him, no longer trying to hide his emotions.

“Is that really all you have to say to me? After all we’ve been through? he shouted at him with unhidden anger displayed on his face.

Ash just stared at him, astonished by his sudden outburst. Eiji was standing in front of him, hands on his hips, his eyes burning golden with anger. Ash had never seen Eiji so furious. But it was so like him, all of his feelings were clearly visible on his face, straight up and honest. Eiji’s gaze penetrated his obstinate attitude easily and could see right through his poor tough-guy act. Hell, he was the only one who even dared to speak to him like that. Never scared at all. That was so refreshing that Ash was completely stunned and had no idea how to react at all.

“What do you want me to say?”, Ash finally asked bewildered, unsure how to respond to his sudden outburst.

“Oh, I don’t know…”, Eiji shoved his hands into his pockets while answering in an exasperated voice. “What about thanking me first for saving your damn life? Or for risking my own life for you? Asking if I’m alright? That would be a really good start, Ash.” Even if he hid his hands in his hoody’s pockets Eiji knew that Ash had noticed them trembling. He had always been really bad at hiding his emotions, especially in front of Ash. So in the end he just gave up trying and just let them run free. Maybe when seeing his agitation Ash would finally give up trying to push him away.

“Oh…”, Ash was momentarily taken aback by Eiji’s angry attitude, so unlike his normally calm personality. “You’re right, Eiji. Sorry.” He looked up at him. “Thank you for doing that. Really. It’s just that you were the last person I wanted to find me…to see me like that…”He looked down as his trembling hands clenched into fists again, “I thought you’d hate me … After what I’ve done this time... So when I woke up the last time and you were gone … I thought you’d have finally left me for good…” Staring directly at him, Ash added in frustration “Damn, Eiji, I just want you to be safe. But you’ll never be safe in New York. Or by my side. And in my pathetic condition I can’t even protect you. It’s just a matter of time before my enemies will find me here!”, Ash tried to explain desperately, swimming in shame at his vulnerable state.

Eiji heaved a sigh in resignation.“I know all of that, Ash. But you’re not the only one who’s worried, you know? I worry about you, too. That’s why I’ve been talking to Ibe, Max and Sing while you were resting. About what we are going to do now. What our next steps are.”, Eiji replied honestly, warmth returning to his brown eyes. “And I could never hate you. Even if you are a stubborn idiot.” Ash relaxed instantly, Eiji’s warmth was contagious and flooded right through him. But then the truth about what he had just told him sank in.

“So you really return home, huh? I understand…after everything I put you through…”, Ash turned his downhearted gaze away from Eiji, knowing he would see the sorrow in his eyes. He told him to leave, yeah, but…

Eiji walked over and sat at the side of his bed again, putting a hand on Ash’s shoulder, looking directly into his eyes. “No, Ash, I don’t think you do. Because with ‘ _what_ _WE_ _are_ _going_ _to_ _do_ _now_ ’ I meant ‘ _me_ _and_ _you_ ’. Together.”, he explained.

Ash stared at him, wide-eyed, complete confusion rolling over his face. “Huh? What are you saying?”

Eiji couldn’t believe it, with his superior intelligence he could outwit even the most dangerous opponents easily but when it came to him he was totally clueless. It made him smile for a second.

“I’m saying that I haven’t gone through all the trouble of saving you only to lose you again.” Eiji seemed to grow more agitated again, gripping Ash’s upper arm tightly while raising his voice with each word. “Ash, you’ve just practically killed yourself, for God’s sake. You didn’t even call for help and didn’t care what would happen to you at all. But I do care.“ Ash had to look away from Eiji’s penetrating gaze. Again. He just couldn’t bear to see his grieving expression. “I won’t leave you alone again.”, Eiji insisted, forcing Ash to look into his eyes by turning Ash’s face in his direction again, a resolute look on his face. Ash’s mouth fell open, complete surprise dominating his features.

“Why…?”, was all he could manage, at a loss for words.

“Because you’re too self-destructive and I worry, ok? Who knows what you’ll do the next time I leave you?” Although still shivering a little himself after recalling the memory of finding Ash bleeding out, he took his still pale hand in his. “You don’t value your life. You won’t outright kill yourself but at this point you wouldn’t put up much of a fight either if someone attacked you.”, Eiji answered honestly, pain overpowering his voice. “I’ve told you I’ll protect you, even from yourself if necessary.”, he finished with an expression radiating pure confidence.

Before Ash even had time to reply anything, Eiji continued, pointing straight at him. “So don’t you dare try to make me leave again. That won’t work no matter what you say. I’m too stubborn. You should know that by now, Ash.”, Eiji finished, a smirk playing on his face, trying to lighten up the mood.

“Eiji, you …”, Ash tried, but was interrupted. Again. Normally Eiji wouldn’t be this rude and cut short what other people were saying. Especially not him. But this time Ash would listen to him for once. Without interrupting him. Or that idiot would never understand why he was so mad. So worried. So scared.

“And we both know you don’t really mean it.”, he continued. “You want me to stay but are just too stubborn to admit that, even to yourself. You’re too afraid to long for happiness or a second chance because you think you don’t deserve it. But you’re still mistaken. After all you went through you deserve a happier life the most. And you should know one other thing: I chose to stay by your side because I wanted to. And I still do. I don’t care how dangerous it is. I don’t care if I’m hurt either. But I don’t want to lose you. Not after barely saving you. This is my decision. And you can’t change my mind.” In a warmer tone he explained “It’s ok to be selfish sometimes, you know? To wish for a better life or to wish to spend your life with someone who cares for you. Who makes you feel safe.” Ash gaped at him. Eiji scared him sometimes. Occasionally he forgot that his perfect pokerface didn’t work on Eiji at all, that he could just read his thoughts and see his emotions easily, like an open book.

Eiji’s brown eyes bored directly into his green ones while stating honestly “Just look into my eyes and tell me straight to my face that you really want me to leave. Then I will.” Determination flared up in Eiji’s eyes, turning them golden brown. Ash had temporarily forgotten how speech worked. He wanted to tell Eiji to leave, to be safe, to keep his distance from him … but he just couldn’t do it. Not while staring directly into his eyes radiating so much empathy and comfort. His mind went completely blank while drowning in his kind and warm eyes. His compassionate eyes were like a cure for his injured soul, the only ray of light in his cruel world of eternal darkness. He just couldn’t give up the only person who made his life worth living. Maybe he could be selfish only once…?

Eiji saw him hesitating and smiled. “That’s the answer I wanted to hear.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I wanted to write only one chapter but since it was too long I decided to divide it into two chapters. Since Ash is too stubborn Eiji has to take his time to finally convince him;-)
> 
> Sorry, but I just love to write scenes where Ash misunderstands Eiji and where Ash is totally stubborn.
> 
> Thanks for all the comments, kudos and bookmarks. Since I’m a beginner it makes my day and means the world to me. It also gives me the motivation (and courage) to write the next chapter. Since I’m too afraid to publish them at times.


	7. Even If The World Turns On You ...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eiji finally really talks to Ash about everything that has happened.  
> Will he finally convince that stubborn idiot to come to Japan with him?  
> And what will happen if Eiji tries to use some shady methods to make him finally agree?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was hard to write. I wondered how I get Ash to finally agree to come to Japan with Eiji.
> 
> Sorry that this chapter is so long, I wanted them to talk about everything and I couldn‘t divide it into several parts since it would have destroyed the flow of the story.

A Rocky Road to A New Dawn (3)

OR

Even If The World Turns On You …

 

“Now that you finally don’t want me to leave you anymore …”, Eiji began, finally approaching the topic he feared the most.

“I never told you that!”, Ash interrupted him stubbornly, sitting up and glaring at him, his green eyes flashing wildly with annoyance.

Eiji glared right back at him but there was humor sparkling beneath the irritation in his brown eyes. “But you didn’t tell me to leave either. You had the chance. You didn’t take it. Now it’s too late.”, Eiji replied as stubbornly, a devilish grin spreading over his face. “Not answering is an answer in itself, you know?”, he replied, resting one hand gently on Ash’s shoulder. He just frowned up at him.

“Whatever…”, Ash crossed his arms and turned his gaze away from him. But Eiji had still seen a glimmer of happiness in his green eyes. “You’re hopeless.”, Eiji told him, smiling anyway.

“So what I wanted to say before you so rudely interrupted me … now that you don’t want me to leave anymore…”, Eiji repeated, stopping him with an annoyed glare from doing so again, “why don’t we move on? To the topic we‘ve both avoided until now …“, he explained, once more turning serious.

Ash saw him hesitating for a fraction of a second and the color of Eiji’s eyes darkened to a chestnut brown while he sighed and said to him in a painful voice:

“You still haven’t told me what happened after Sing gave you my letter...”

Yes, Eiji knew more or less what had happened when seeing the crime scene. But he wanted to hear it from Ash himself. He just had to know if his letter had really been the reason Ash had been too distracted to notice Lao attacking him. He had mixed feelings about that. He wanted to know the truth but was afraid to hear it at the same time.

After a moment of watching Eiji, Ash sighed in defeat and reluctantly nodded. “I guess after saving my life you deserve to know … but you won’t like it.  
You’re sure ?”, he finally asked.

Eiji hesitated for a second but nodded in confirmation.  
“I am sure.”

“Ok, then …“, Ash replied sadly, wondering where to begin.

“After Sing had left, I sat down at a bank next to the public library reading your letter. After reading it and finding the plane ticket, I decided on impulse to go to the airport after all and see you off myself. I couldn’t fly with you to Japan but I at least wanted to tell you in person. Your plane ticket had shown me how serious you had been about inviting me to Japan. I hadn’t realized that before. But I knew I had to tie up some loose ends here in NYC before I could leave.”, Ash tried to explain honestly.

Eiji nodded, showing him that he understood his reasoning. “And that was when Lao attacked you,  
wasn't it?”, Eiji asked, swallowing hard, his voice barely a whisper. As if whispering it would make it less real. As if whispering it would undo it. As if it would hurt less. If Ash hadn’t been so close he wouldn’t have heard him at all.

“Yeah…”, Ash replied in a glum tone, his eyes downcast, “although it had been a surprise attack I never saw Lao coming. He totally caught me off guard because the only thing on my mind was reaching you in time…”, he admitted, his green eyes downcast, floodIng with regret. “I knew I didn’t have much time left. So I started running, never paying any attention to my surroundings for once.” Ash had a really miserable look on his face when he finally looked up again.

“I’m so sorry, Ash. That’s all my fault.” Eiji began sobbing, sitting on Ash’s bed with a hand over his eyes, his head pulled back in a last attempt to stop the tears from flowing down his face. “Lao only got so close to you because my letter had distracted you, right? I realized that when I saw the crime scene.”, Eiji explained, turning to look at Ash with pure sorrow dominating his features.

“Wait, Eiji, that’s not what …”, Ash began, immediately trying to deny it. Protecting him from the truth. He knew Eiji would just blame himself otherwise.

Eiji stared directly at him, no longer trying to hide the tears running down his face, his eyes burning bright with an intensity Ash hadn’t seen before. “Don’t you dare lie to me, Ash! You told me I deserved to know what happened! So stop hiding things from me!” Ash looked at him, frustration clearly visible on Ash’s face. He had still hoped that Eiji wouldn‘t have grasped the whole truth, especially his letter being the reason for his distraction. But noticing that he had already seen through it all, it was no use denying it any longer. He exhaled noticeably.

“All right, I was kind of distracted after reading your letter. But that was because I started running without paying attention to my surroundings. It wasn’t your fault, but mine.” But Eiji didn’t hear him at all. His heart pounded as loud as gunshots in his chest, his pulse echoing deafeningly in his ears, so that he was oblivious to Ash’s reassuring words.  
Eiji wrapped his arms around himself, shivering. “This time you got hurt because of me” Panic shot through him again when flashbacks of the crime scene played in front of his eyes in slow motion: Ash’s revolver lying in a pool of blood, a shot Lao, drops of blood on the ground, Lao’s bloodstained knife …

“Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do.” He started trembling even worse, unable to stop the never-ending river of tears running down his face. Ash didn’t know what to do. He was never good at reacting to outbursts of emotions but this time Eiji obviously didn’t hear him anyway. And he actually flinched back when he tried to touch him, not noticing it was him at all. So Ash suddenly pulled back as if burnt, freezing up for a moment, not daring to touch him again.

Oblivious to Ash’s touch and the hurt in his eyes from his unconscious rejection, Eiji exclaimed, getting even more agitated. “My letter was practically the reason you nearly died, Ash! I might as well have stabbed you myself!”, Eiji concluded, utter despair flooding his eyes.

Ash was still hesitating. He had never learnt how to show emotions but instead only to hide them, to suppress them, to ignore them. In his dark life they had been useless and a hindrance. So he never learnt how to react to them either, how to comfort someone. What to say. How to respond. But he had to do something, to console Eiji somehow. So he tried again, faltering for a moment, then grabbing both of his forearms in his own, trying to get Eiji to look up at him. “Eiji, just look at me, ok? I’m still here thanks to you.” Eiji still wouldn’t meet his eyes, head lowered, his brown eyes swimming in guilt. “But still, I should never have written you that damn letter…”, he sobbed while calming down little by little.  
“I’m so s …..”

Ash interrupted him suddenly. His green eyes were glowing deep green with pure anger as he gripped both of Eiji’s shoulders so tightly that Eiji finally looked up into his eyes in bewilderment. He actually flinched from the violent storm he saw raging in them.

“Eiji, just stop it! Now! Whatever you were going to say, don’t!” Ash practically shouted, clearly agitated. When Eiji had a confused look on his face, he continued in a softer tone “It wasn’t your fault but mine for not noticing my surroundings. Your letter meant so much for me. I’ve never had someone telling me he wanted to protect me.” Hesitating for a second he tentatively put an arm around Eiji’s shoulder, still braced for rejection. When Eiji didn’t pull away, he said quietly ”So calm down, ok?”

After a moment Ash continued “Your letter convinced me that maybe I really could have a second chance in life…”, he explained. “You even told me that you’ll never forget me even if you leave here… No one’s ever told me something like that. So don’t you ever regret writing it. Don’t you dare!” His green eyes were flaring up with a sincerity completely new to Eiji, rendering him completely speechless.

“I meant each word.”, Eiji finally replied, wiping tears from his eyes with his sleeve. “So, what happened then?”, he finally asked.

“Actually Lao was more surprised than I was. He had never expected to really stab me. I used his surprise to shoot him in the chest. I knew I couldn’t stay there for long because the police would arrest me at once. So I walked away.”, Ash said matter-of-factly, as if telling Eiji today‘s weather forecast.

“Without looking for help?” Eiji asked incredulously. He still couldn’t believe he had really done that. “I thought my letter gave you hope. So why would you still do that?”

“With that injury I’d have never made it to the airport, so I just … accepted my fate? That was my punishment for all the sins I’ve committed. I deserved it after all the blood I’ve spilled. I’ve always known my life would never have a happy ending anyway. That I’d never get a peaceful life like you have. Believing that was beyond naive.” Ash looked away from Eiji, facing the window because he couldn’t bear to see the disappointment in Eiji‘s eyes.

Eiji wasn’t disappointed. He was furious, leaning over to him and forcing Ash to look at him by turning his face in his direction again, his eyes glowing golden with anger.

“You know that’s not true, Ash! I told you that you are not to blame for anything you did. That you deserve a normal life like mine. That I’ll help you with that. That I’d do anything for you! What can I do to make you finally believe me?” Eiji was nearly shouting, frustrated that Ash still thought he didn’t deserve happiness, even after all they had been through.  
When seeing Eiji like this frustration rose up in Ash because Eiji still didn’t understand why he had acted that way. Why didn’t he get that without him in his life nothing mattered anymore? Without him only darkness was left …

“But that’s the point, Eiji! You couldn’t help me. You weren’t here anymore! You left!”, Ash painfully shouted, failing to fight back his tears. Wiping his eyes he continued in a calmer tone. “At least that’s what  
I thought … at the time.”

Eiji looked as if he’d been shot again, all color draining from his face at once.

“You were the only good thing in my life.”, Ash admitted silently, closing his eyes for a moment and shoving blonde strands of hair out of his face. “With you gone my life would return to endless fighting again. I didn’t want to go on like that. I was just so tired of leading such an empty and meaningless life again. So when I was stabbed I thought that my death would actually be more peaceful than my pathetic life. It would take away all my suffering and pain. At that time death was just the better option for me.”, he concluded with a resigned look on his face.

Eiji was completely dumbfounded for a moment, his eyes drowning in regret.  
Still, Ash was right. He had left him alone. He had abandoned him. Although he had promised him to stay by his side. He hadn’t been any better than his brother, Blanca or his father. Even worse he had wasted so much time feeling sorry for himself. He had only returned after Sing had seen which state Ash was in and had convinced him to do something. He hadn’t been there for him when he needed him the most. He really hated himself right now. He had always known Ash had suicidal tendencies at times. And about his self-destructive behavior. His self-loathing personality. Ash had never cared what happened to him after all. So as the person knowing Ash best he should have known Ash would do something drastic like that if he left him all alone. He had completely failed Ash. He was the one responsible for that outcome. But he couldn’t break down now, he had to be the strong one now and show Ash he would never leave him again, ever. Until he really believed it.

“I understand what you’re saying, Ash. And I’m really sorry for leaving you. But I’m here now! And I won’t leave again. I’ll be there for you no matter what you do. I promise.”, Eiji repeated, compassion underlining his words.

Ash smiled sadly at him. “I want to believe your words, Eiji, really.”, Ash said, his green eyes full of pain and sadness. “But I don’t deserve to live a happy life after destroying so many lives myself.”

“But dying will achieve nothing either. That would definitely be meaningless. Try to lead another life to make up for it instead. Live for all the people you’ve killed. Try to help save people instead of killing them. You’re smart enough to do it.”, he told him reassuringly. Ash still looked skeptical.

“But even if I try to make up for it, it’s just too easy that a cold-blooded murderer and ruthless killer like me can have a happy ending.”, he finished, his green eyes darkening again.

“You’re neither a murderer nor a cold-blooded killer. Stop saying that about yourself!” Eiji exclaimed furiously, glaring at him.”

Great, now he had upset Eiji again. But Eiji thought in too simple terms. He really envied his innocent view on the world sometimes. It made life so much easier, less painful. He’d have died a long time ago with such a naive way of thinking.  
But still, he wanted to believe in Eiji’s kind words, believe that it would be really alright to hope for a better future… leading a peaceful life like Eiji’s …

But his mind automatically doubted everything Eiji had just said, looking for an ulterior motive, a catch, afraid that the only person he trusted would also abandon him. Again. Like everyone before him. Maybe not now but eventually. He didn’t even understand why Eiji had stayed by his side all this time. His damn superior mind was already planning five steps ahead, looking for any worst-case-scenarios that he had to anticipate. He just couldn’t help it, he thought like that as if on autopilot. It was natural to him, the analytical mind of a trained soldier analyzing all possible tactics and outcomes and turn the tables in his favor. He glanced up suddenly when he heard Eiji speak again.

“You are a kind person with a pure soul who is just hurting and went through a lot. You were just defending yourself. You were a child for God’s sake. You told me yourself that you just learned how to shoot because it was the only way to survive.”

Eiji was clearly frustrated because his words apparently had never reached Ash’s ears. He heard them but didn’t listen to them. Didn’t believe in them. He knew Ash was always questioning everything, casting a doubt even on his own words. He had to get through to him somehow. He wouldn’t give up so easily, he thought stubbornly.

“There’s nothing pure about my soul, Eiji. I committed too many evil deeds for that. Too many sins.”, Ash told him with a resigned look on his face.

Eiji just smiled sadly and gently put a hand on Ash’s shirt exactly were his heart was. “I know you can’t see it yet but I can see your pure soul and your kind heart. And you will, too, sometime. Not now, but eventually.”, he assured him confidently.  
“Besides, only a good person would worry about hurting me. That thought would never even cross a bad person’s mind.

Eiji’s words were like a soothing lotion for his injured soul, spreading warmth and comfort throughout his body. But he just didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to go on fighting endlessly like this… But would it really be ok if Eiji stayed by his side? Would he really be safe? He doubted it.

“Thank you for saying that. I mean it. But I have too many enemies that would constantly chase after me. Even if I ‘m officially dead they’ll find me eventually. I can never outrun my past. Be rational for once in your life, Eiji!, Ash replied sadly, tears slowly escaping from his eyes, making Eiji nearly flinch from the desperation he saw in them.

Eiji smiled warmly at him, taking his hand, reassuring him. “Ash, your enemies think you’re dead. They won’t be looking for you anymore. Max made sure of that. But I agree that staying in NY would be dangerous. You’re too well-known here, your picture was all over the news and the police would arrest you on sight. People here will eventually recognize you. You have to leave. The States I mean. Come to Japan with me. We’ll be safe there. You still got my plane ticket, right? He asked winking at him.

“I have… But I can’t do that to you, Eiji. I’ll only bring you trouble. I’ve already hurt you enough. By dragging you into my dangerous world. Hell, Eiji, I even failed to protect you. I even nearly killed you! Ash knew that Eiji saw the guilt and shame overflowing in his eyes and lowered his head staring at his hands.

Eiji turned Ash’s face upwards again and forced Ash to look at him.

“Stop that nonsense! Me getting hurt has never been your fault. Stop blaming yourself! Your enemies always hurt me, not you.”, he said in an agitated voice, warm eyes staring directly into his.  
But that’s the same…, Ash began, but Eiji interrupted him in an exasperated tone. “No, it’s not the same as you hurting me at all!” Ash just stared at him. In a warmer tone Eiji added calmly. “You tried to get me to leave but I stayed anyway. That was my decision. As was shielding you from that gunshot and pushing you out of harm’s way. I make my own choices. And I have to live with the consequences. None of these events were your fault, ok?”

Ash stayed silent for once, unsure what to say to that.

“But you know what really hurt me the most? Do you?”, Eiji asked him in an agonizing tone. “Because there was one time where **you** did hurt me. And that had nothing to do with your enemies. That was entirely you!” Ash’s eyes widened in shock, his body freezing up completely. Eiji might as well have punched him from the pain overpowering his green eyes.

“It was seeing you bleeding out in that library. I was so scared that you’d die and that I had arrived too late so save you! Eiji’s eyes were flashing golden with anger.  
“I guess it was also my fault for leaving you. I get that. I really do. But have you ever thought about me when doing that? What I would be going through when learning you were dead? I thought I meant something to you. How would you feel if you learned I was dead?” Ash felt his chest tightening and panic rising up inside of him just imagining that. He started trembling at the mere thought, his hand clenching into fists.

“That fucking hurt. I still have nightmares about you bleeding out in that library, coming too late to save you!”, Eiji continued in such a painful and sad voice that Ash couldn’t help but stare at him, completely frozen up and stunned.

During all the time they had spent together he had never heard Eiji swearing like that. Hell, he had never heard him swearing at all. No matter how upset he was Eiji had never used swear words when talking to him. Or anyone else. That in itself conveyed more meaning than Eiji could ever express. And he had never seen Eiji getting so agitated, so furious, so sad before. And so worried. That was all his fault.

Apparently having been miles away, Ash was completely surprised to see an ocean of tears streaming down Eiji’s face. Until that moment he really hadn’t realized how much he had hurt Eiji with his final decision. The whole idea had never occurred to him that Eiji would suffer as well when he died. He had always thought that he needed Eiji much more. That Eiji gave him so much happiness, safety and comfort. But he had never expected Eiji to need him as well. He had never imagined he could comfort Eiji as well, give him something in return. That his death would even matter to anyone. That there were people actually caring about him he would leave behind. Like Eiji. Or maybe even Max?  
Hesitating for a second he tentatively hugged Eiji, afraid he would pull back. Afraid to be rejected after this emotional revelation. When Eiji returned the hug at once, clinging to him like a life line, Ash relaxed instantly and tightened his arms around him. But be was wondering if he had imagined hearing Eiji wince faintly when moving.

He rested his head on Eiji’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, I hurt you again. I really didn’t expect that my death would be so hard on you. I thought without me you had time to heal and move on. That at least you could lead a normal life.”, he tried to explain himself.

“Eiji gently pulled back from the hug and looked at Ash. “You’re really dense for someone this smart. My whole world came crashing down on me when I saw you bleeding out. I’m so glad I’ve found you in time.” Eiji said, still sobbing, hugging him again.

After a moment Ash suddenly pulled back from the hug, gripping Eiji’s shoulders and watching him intently all of a sudden. “Eiji, what are you hiding from me? You’re still in pain, aren’t you?”, he asked, worry overwhelming his features.  
Eiji‘s face flushed with embarrassment. “What do you mean? No, I’m fine…”, he said, automatically denying it, but he had hesitated for a second too long and Ash knew he didn’t tell him the truth. “You’re still a lousy liar!”, he said, clearly irritated.

Since Eiji didn’t reply at all, even avoiding his penetrating stare, Ash was gripping Eiji’s hoody without warning, pulling it up until he could see the newly dressed bandage of his gunshot wound. Eiji gaped in surprise. Ash, what…?”, trying to pull it down again, his cheeks flushing bright red.

“You opened it up again, didn’t you? While saving me.” Ash’s eyes bored into his, flooded with regret and guilt. He let go at last. “And you’re still in pain. I can see it. Your emotions are always visible on your face, clear as day.”, Ash said in a scolding tone.

Eiji hesitated, one moment considering denying it. However, trying to fool Ash was useless. He was way too smart to fall for that. So he reluctantly told him the truth.

“Damn, Eiji, how could you do something that reckless?”, Ash scolded him, frowning up at him.

“You’re one to talk. I wasn’t the one nearly dying from blood loss.”, Eiji defended himself. “And honestly I was so focused on saving your damn life that I didn’t notice my own wound had reopened until we reached the hospital…”, Eiji admitted quietly.

“But…Max said you collapsed and were unconscious as well. How ….? Why would you go that far? For me of all people?”, Ash asked, looking straight at him.

“I don’t want to hear that from you! I wasn’t the one close to dying.”, Eiji insisted stubbornly, glaring at him.  
“But….you weren’t far off, Eiji…”, Ash answered sadly.

“Ash, you flatlined! You were dead for some minutes, goddamn!”, Eiji called out angrily. Sing and I saved you at the very last minute! That was really cutting it close. So I had no time to think about my own injury, ok? Eiji’s agitated voice was drowning in sorrow. “You of all people don’t have the damn right to tell me to stop being reckless. What should I have done instead, letting you die?!”, he exclaimed furiously.

Ash looked hopelessly at Eiji. “I guess… you’re right.”, he admitted reluctantly. “I just don’t understand why you still stay with me when I obviously hurt you and upset you so much. I’ve never seen you so furious. And sad… And knowing I’m the reason…”

“For someone with a superior intelligence like yours you’re really dumb. Do you really think I’d stayed by your side this long despite all the danger if I hadn’t needed you as well? That I would have protected you and shielded you from that gunshot?”, giving him an exasperated look. “ And I’m only this upset because I worry. About you. All the time. And I worry because I care for you. A lot. And because you gave my life a new meaning as well. Especially since I became all depressed after my pole vaulting career was over.”, he finished.

“What could I possibly give you? I’m just a broken mess with a lot of emotional baggage I can’t seem to get away from.”, Ash asked honestly.  
Eiji could see it in his eyes that he really didn’t understand that he could comfort Eiji as well. He had already shown him that, told him that, tried to explain it to him. But he hadn’t understood it yet.He still was convinced that he wasn’t a good enough person to be worthy of trust, friendship or love. And to make him understand that would take time. Much more time than he had now. But he tried anyway.

“That’s not true. When my pole vaulting career was over I was really depressed. I didn’t know what to do with my life anymore. I had lost the most important thing in my life. I had given up completely.”, Eiji admitted reluctantly. He had never spoken about that to anyone. Except for Ibe. “But your sheer willpower and your endless fighting spirit and courage taught me not to give up so easily. You never gave up fighting no matter how desperate the situation was. I really admired that in you. You gave me the hope and endurance to carry on. I learned that from you. And you protected me and made me feel safe in a world full of danger.”, Eiji said convincingly, honesty clearly visible on his features.

“You really mean that, huh? I really had no clue that I helped you as well… “, he admitted slowly, his eyes sparkling faintly with happiness.  
“But you did.”, Eiji confirmed. “So I don’t want to be separated from you again. I want to spend my life with you. If I return to Japan alone I may be safe but my life would be meaningless, incomplete without you. I need you as much as you need me.” he tried to explain so Ash would finally understand. Ash just stared at him in complete disbelief. Eiji couldn’t help but laugh when seeing his shocked face.

“Ash, please come to Japan with me. You won’t need a gun there and can lead a peaceful life there. Without worrying for enemies lurking at every corner. You can be free, reborn, have a second chance. Both of us. Together.”, Eiji tried to convince him.

“Are you fucking serious? I can’t go with you!” Ash exclaimed, completely astonished.

“Why not, Ash? You’re officially dead and you have a new passport and identity and everything else you need for a fresh start.”, Eiji assured him. “And you can’t stay here. You know that.”, Eiji told him, trying to convince him again. He wouldn’t give up that easily.

“But… “, Ash’s voice faltered a bit. “Is that really ok? After all that happened… You’re sure you still want me to stay with you?”, he asked uncertainly, a slight tremble in his voice.

Eiji stared directly into his eyes swimming in doubt. “I’m sure. It will be alright. You will be safe in Japan. No one will hurt you there. And you’re not alone, Ash. I’ll help you, ok?” Eiji’s warm eyes ignited with a confidence that made Ash somehow relax. Maybe it would really be fine? As puzzling as that was for him Eiji apparently wanted to stay with him. Maybe he could have a second chance? Did he really deserve that?, Ash kept wondering.

Eiji still saw the doubt in his eyes. “You deserve a new life, Ash. This is your once-in-a-lifetime chance of grasping it. It’s ok to wish for a happier life. It’s not selfish. No one deserves a happier life more than you do. And if I make you happy you deserve me as well. Listen to me for once, ok?”, Eiji smiled at him, his eyes radiating comfort and kindness.

When Ash didn’t say anything, Eiji looked at him, a deep frown on his face.” Don’t be so stubborn and just admit to yourself that you wish for a new life far away from all this violence, too.”, he told him, slowly losing his patience. But Ash was confused, unsure what to do. He didn’t want to put Eiji in danger. But he didn’t want to stay here either.

Eiji smiled wickedly to himself. He knew he had one last trump card up his sleeve he could still play. Honestly he didn’t want to go that far. But if it was the only chance to get Ash to agree he would play it. It was a dirty trick and slightly illegal …

_Sorry_ , _Ash_ … _You_ _don’t_ _leave_ _me_ _a_ _choice_ _here_ …

“I’m not leaving you alone again. I told you that already. If you stay here, I’ll stay, too. You’re not the only one who can be stubborn as hell.”, Eiji crossed his arms, a devilish smirk spreading across his face.

“But, that’s … You can’t …”, Ash shouted in a worried tone, his eyes widening in pure horror.

“Watch me!”, Eiji replied, a wide grin on his face. “It’s your choice. But wherever you are I will follow. No matter what you say. So if you don’t want to put me in any more danger you’ll have no choice but to follow me to Japan.” Eiji actually had the audacity to have a vicious grin on his face, obviously enjoying himself immensely.

“That’s blackmail.”, Ash said, crossing his arms. And emotional kidnapping, more or less.“ When did you switch over to the dark side?”, Ash asked, pouting, but the brightness was slowly returning to his jade green eyes.

“When I got to know a rude blonde gang leader. He taught me not to give up easily.”, Eiji was grinning. “You left me no other option as stubborn as you are.”, Eiji complained, still smiling.

Ash sighed dramatically. “Alright, I give in. Congratulations, you’re the first person succeeding in blackmailing me. And surviving.”, Ash said mockingly, a half-smile on his face.

Eiji beamed at him, eyes shining with pure happiness. “You really mean it, Ash?”

“Yeah”, you finally wore me down…”, he confirmed, exhaustion on his face. Shoving some blonde strands out of his eyes and letting his hand rest on his forehead, he continued reluctantly “I surrender. Fighting you is too tiring. As is pushing you away. I have a feeling you’ll never give up. I never saw such a determined look in your eyes before. So here you go. You got yourself a rude blonde gang leader complicating the rest of your damn life. You‘re sure you won’t regret that? Not now, but eventually?”, Ash asked, a hint of uncertainty still in his green eyes.

Eji stared straight into Ash’s eyes while his brown eyes burnt golden with compassion and unconditional trust.  
“Never! I’d never ever regret that!”, his features burning with a self-confidence Ash had never seen before.

“I promised you to stay by your side. Forever!”  
He assured him, beaming at him with a smile radiating pure happiness and the most joyful expression he had ever seen on Eiji’s face. Seeing Eiji’s happiness, warmth and unbreakable resolve, all of his doubts slowly shattered into tiny little pieces.

Ash looked up at him, relaxing slowly, while the first real smile was lighting up his jade green eyes, making them shine like emeralds.

“Forever, huh?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided that this is not the last chapter. I wanted to write one where they finally fly to Japan together. What happens after that I have no idea. I normally don‘t plan more than one chapter ahead.


	8. Time to Say Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash and Eiji say goodbye to the person who saved Ash’s life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m really sorry that I didn’t publish another chapter of this story for several months🙄 But the good thing is that I’ve already written three new chapters🙂 I’ll upload them in the next few weeks. 
> 
> This chapter is about someone I haven’t mentioned in a while. One of my readers gave me the inspiration for the chapter by commenting;-)

 

_Never thought I’d come back here._

Standing in front of the hospital’s entrance, he could still hear the siren ringing in his ears. Still see the red lights dancing in front of his vision. Still see Ash’s pale face lying on Eiji’s letter in the public library, his blood and tears mixing in with Eiji’s clumsy handwriting. That last image still haunted him, engraved in his memory forever.

After seeing that Ash had been taken care of at that private hospital, Sing hadn’t visited again because he didn’t want to give away Ash’s location to anyone. He had stayed in contact with Eiji, though. That had been more than two months ago. Or maybe longer, he wasn’t sure. But even  
after all that time Sing still couldn’t believe that idiot had really done that.

_He’ll only be killed if he brings it on himself._

This sentence that Cain had said about Ash when they had been sharing a prison cell had never rung truer. But even after seeing Ash’s desperation when giving him Eiji’s letter, Sing had never expected Ash to do exactly that. Maybe it was because he had looked up to him a bit too much and that had clouded his mind, but he had never imagined that Ash would just give up so easily. Resigning to his fate. Returning calmly to his favorite place without getting help. He had never thought that Ash would go so far and indirectly kill himself. But then again, he had never envisioned Lao trying to stab Ash either, just because of a duel they both hadn’t even been serious about…

Anyway, he didn’t particularly look forward to returning here, since he wasn’t a big fan of hospitals to, begin with. But he didn’t have a choice since this was the only secure place where he could say goodbye to both of them.

Eiji had asked him to come by in the afternoon, so here he was. He had asked Eiji if he was sure that was such a good idea, knowing that Ash would disapprove of the idea, worrying someone else could find out their whereabouts. But Eiji had defiantly told him that he didn’t care if it was risky and that he wanted to tell Sing goodbye in person. That it would be more than rude to do that over the phone or in some even more impersonal way after all he had done for them. According to Eiji Ash wanted to thank him as well (although it was more likely Eiji had convinced him to do so). And Ash wouldn’t stay at the hospital anyway because he would get discharged soon.  
Sing could hear the determination resonating in Eiji’s voice and realized that he wouldn’t change his mind no matter what he said or did. But honestly, he was glad he had gotten the chance to see Eiji and Ash one final time before they would be leaving. Japan wasn’t exactly around the corner.

  
In the meantime, he had been busy dealing with that disaster of a human being called Yut Lung. He had kind of emotionally blackmailed him to ask Blanca if there would be a way to get flawless documents for Ash, such as a passport and an ID card with a new name. Yut Lung got furious at first, eyes burning bright with anger, and refused to do anything for him. Sing had anticipated that stubborn reaction from him, though. He was a pain in the ass sometimes and hard to handle. But he had a soft spot for Sing. And Sing had used that to his advantage. He wouldn’t let him off that easily. Not after allying himself with Dino and turning his own Chinese brothers into traitors. He would never forgive him for that, ever!

“Why would I ever do that?”, Yut Lung asked, crossing his arms in defiance. ”You know I despise both of them.” Sing just sighed dramatically, giving him a pitiful look. When he was standing stubbornly like that with crossed arms, Sing was reminded that those two were totally alike. Yut Lung shared the same dark past with Ash and even the same stubborn personality and good looks. And both of them would rather die before admitting how much they had in common. It was so ironic, Sing nearly had to smile.

“It’s not Ash’s fault that he found someone who makes him happy. That Eiji made him open up and made him wish for a better life. That Ash found what you never could. That he chose to love instead of hate. You’re just jealous. But turning my own gang into traitors to kill Ash and Eiji is pretty low even for your standards.”, Sing accused him, glaring at him, his eyes glowing furiously.

“Shut up. What the hell do you know?”, Yut Lung exclaimed angrily, clenching his hands into fists.

“I may not know everything about you, but I know that like Ash you can’t forget your past and have lost your purpose in life after your abusers died. You both needed someone to hate to be able to survive.”, he remarked bluntly while Yut Lung just stared at him wide-eyed for a moment, then stubbornly looked away. Sing smiled. Bull’s eye. “And I know that I can’t hate you. I don’t know why exactly, but I can’t get myself to hate you.”, Sing admitted sadly, looking down at the floor. After a moment, he raised his head and glared at him, determination flooding his features.

“So you’ll help me to make things right again. As a form as repayment for your vicious actions  
you will help me get rid of the chaotic situation in Chinatown. And you’ll call Blanca and get Ash new documents with a new name. Flawless ones. Or you organize them yourself, I don’t care how you do it. You owe those two that much. Ash and Eiji nearly dying is entirely your fault and you did it for an embarrassingly petty reason no less. If you don’t, you’ll lose the only friend you have left in this world. Me. Because I will never see you or talk to you again. Just try me.”, Sing challenged him, a defiant expression running over his face.

Yut Lung just stared at him incredulously, a single tear running down his face, his tough facade finally cracking and shattering into countless little pieces.

Sing just told him to stop being such a crybaby and call Blanca. Then he walked away, knowing perfectly well that Yut Lung would do it. He always acted tough but Sing knew only too well that his words would leave an impression on him.

Several days later Sing had called Max and handed him the documents. He had also told Max that Blanca had gotten these documents through one of his old contacts and had already gone back to the Caribbean. That this was his farewell gift for Ash. And he had promised him that Yut Lung wasn’t any threat to Ash anymore. Max had thanked him for his help and had handed the documents to Ash a few days later. Eiji had contacted him as well to thank him because he experienced Yut Lung’s hatred towards him first hand and had been completely stunned that he of all people had lent a helping hand in getting these documents. Of course, he had been suspicious but when he had learned from Sing that those documents were originally from Blanca and Yut Lung had just reached out to him, he had relaxed slightly. Thanking him in person for Ash’s new documents was probably another reason why Eiji had asked Sing to visit them today, several weeks later.

So here he was on his way to Ash’s room. Eiji had told him the room number and that he would have to organize some things for their departure with Max and Ibe, so he might not be on time.

When Sing entered, Ash had just stopped reading a book, some classic novel Sing didn’t know, suddenly tensing up, his eyes burning dangerously in the room’s dim lighting. But seeing that it was Sing, he relaxed slightly. Looking at him more closely after such a long time, Sing was astonished how much Ash had changed. He looked more at ease and even though he had tensed up when hearing him, his posture showed that he wasn’t as edgy and nervous as he used to be, seeing enemies at every corner. Still, his jade green eyes had the same intensity as always that could silence an entire room in the fraction of a second.

“Hey, Ash. You look much better now.”, Sing greeted him, the slightest trace of hesitation in his voice. He had secretly hoped Eiji would already be here, but apparently, he was still talking to Max and Ibe. Shit. What the hell was he supposed to say? He couldn’t remember when he had talked to Ash more than three sentences. And they had mostly been related to business and gang stuff, never personal. The most personal interaction between them had been when he had given him Eiji’s letter asking him why he wouldn’t see Eiji off and Ash telling him he couldn’t see him off because Eiji was his friend and that he didn’t belong in his world. He would never forget the desperate and resigned expression on Ash’s face that day, his green eyes flooded with unbearable sorrow, practically screaming in agony. He had never seen Ash so vulnerable, so … he didn’t know how to describe it… so emotional? That wasn’t the most feared gang leader of New York he knew but a confused and hurt teenager who had lost the only person that had meant something to him in this world. And, if memory served, that conversation hadn’t ended so well since he had run off, calling him a stubborn idiot.

So after that last failed conversation, he had no idea what he was supposed to say to break the ice. Ash wasn’t a person for small talk, so, unfortunately, that wouldn’t work either. So, leaning against the door frame, he just waited for Ash’s reaction, hands in his hoody’s pockets, wondering when Eiji would come back to save him from this awkward situation. Shit. Here goes nothing.

“What the hell are you doing here, Sing?”, Ash asked bluntly, glaring at him. So much for a greeting. Typical Ash. But his look was softer than before, for the first time there was a light flickering in his eyes, making his eyes glow bright green. His glare was milder as well and there was a hint of humor in his eyes. The empty look and the darkness normally overshadowing his eyes had nearly faded into oblivion, leaving only a tiny trace lingering behind. Sing was so dumbfounded at the change that his mind went blank for a minute, but he recovered quickly.

“What do you mean? Eiji asked me to come here. He said you both wanted to see me before you would leave for Japan.”, Sing responded confusedly, wondering why Ash didn’t know that.

“Oh, right. Eiji has told me something like that.”, Ash said more to himself. Then he directed his gaze at Sing again.  
“Goddammit, Sing, don’t just stand there, come over here. And close the fucking door.”, Ash said in an impatient tone. “What are you waiting for, a written invitation?”

Yes, that’s the Ash I know… Sing thought, smiling inwardly, relaxing a little. “That’s the rude Ash Lynx I know and can… barely tolerate. The same stubborn idiot as always. I was worried for a moment, you know?”, he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Ash just crossed his arms, a smug look on his face.

Sing slowly went over and sat in the chair at his bed, wondering why Ash hadn’t told him to leave, that he would only put Eiji in danger if anyone learned of this location and that he should have never come here. That was the reaction he had anticipated from him. But then he realized that had he really wanted to tell him that, he would have already done so. Ash always got straight to the point ignoring all kind of small talk or politeness along the way. He was also sure that Eiji had initiated his visit, telling Ash that thanking Sing over the phone was just plain rude after everything he had done for them. He had told him the exact same thing after all.

So instead of doing that, Ash looked at him with this penetrating stare he had sometimes, his green eyes boring directly into his. Sing nearly flinched from that gaze. But then the look in his eyes changed to a softer one and he sighed dramatically, running a hand through his hair. Wait, could it be that he was also nervous? That he didn’t know what to say either? No, that was impossible…, right? He was Ash Lynx after all…

“I heard that you convinced Eiji to go back to Manhattan. To come back for me. And that you saved my life. Thank you, really, Sing. I owe you. Without your help I wouldn’t even be here…”, Ash said, a half-smile appearing on his features.

“No, you don’t.”, Sing replied honestly.

Ash just stared at him in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Sorry, I meant you don’t owe me anything. We’re even now. Or have you forgotten how you saved my life during our last mission against Foxx?”, Sing reminded him.

“Oh, you’re right. I had kind of forgotten that after all that shit going down at the time. Seems like a lifetime ago, huh? Thanks anyway. For saving me. And helping Eiji as well. I couldn’t believe it when I heard Eiji was still here.” Then his evil grin returned. “Although at the beginning I wanted to kill you for making Eiji return to Manhattan in his injured state.” Sing flinched a bit at that. “Yeah, I knew you’d be mad about that later. But I just had a bad feeling about you. So did Eiji. He just needed a little push and a little… assistance. Being in a wheel chair and all… His eyes were drowning in the same sorrow as yours ,so you both really left me no choice here…” Ash just stared at him, a frown appearing on his forehead, but remained silent. Sing wondered if he had imagined the spark of guilt overshadowing his eyes for the tiniest moment.

“Hey, it’s not my fault that I have only stubborn idiots as friends. Someone had to do something, you know?”, he defended himself. “Since both of you were too busy feeling sorry for yourselves.!”

“But why did you care so much in the first place?”, Ash asked curiously.

“How can you even ask that?”, Sing exclaimed in amazement. “You didn’t see your face when I gave you Eiji’s letter. I’ve never seen you so …

Pathetic?, Ash finished with a smirk.

“I was going to say desperate. As if you had completely given up and nothing mattered to you anymore. I couldn’t forget that look on your face… It had burnt itself into my memory. And unlike you I have no pokerface. You know that better than anyone. Of course Eiji saw right through me and asked me what was wrong. So I told him.” Ash just nodded, understanding flashing in his eyes.

“However, I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that it was Lao who stabbed you. I’m entirely to blame for that. I’m so sorry! I knew Lao wasn’t satisfied how I handled things and that I sided with you. And about our duel. But I’d never imagined that he’d outright attack you.”, he tried to apologize, his features drowning in regret.  
“I’m really sorry, Ash. If I had been a better gang leader that wouldn’t have happened.”, he concluded, looking down, a hand resting over his eyes to cover up his tears.

“Still a crybaby, I see.”, Ash scolded him, half-smiling. “But honestly, it’s ok. It was my fault as well since I agreed to the duel. And I let my guard down after reading Eiji’s letter. Let’s just forget all that shit, ok? And you did save my life in the end.”, Ash reminded him.

“ I still can’t believe you really did that. Bleeding out and not calling for help. You’re a complete idiot, you know that, right?”, Sing told him angrily. “I’d really like to punch you for doing that.” Ash just sighed and then looked at him. His eyes were overpowered by regret and sadness.

“Yeah, I finally got that message loud and clear when Eiji yelled at me a few days ago. I’ve never seen him so mad. And hurt. Guess I’ve never realized that my death would hurt him so much.”, he admitted, guilt darkening his green eyes for a moment. “Of course, I thought that he’d leave me after that stunt I pulled. That he just stayed until I had recovered. But instead Eiji told me he’d never leave me again and asked me to come to Japan with him.” The look in his eyes had softened considerably when mentioning that last part, making his eyes light up with a slight touch of happiness.

Sing just shook his head in disbelief at Ash’s cluelessness. He had to be the only one who hadn’t still figured out how much Eiji would do for him. How much he meant to him. But it seemed that Ash had at least understood by now that Eiji won’t leave him again. And he didn’t try to push him away anymore. That was a start, he thought, feeling relieved.

“And you really agreed? To go to Japan with him?”, Sing asked, surprise written all over his face. “Doesn’t sound like you…”

“Eiji left me no choice. He told me that if I don’t go to Japan with him, he’ll stay in New York with me!”, Ash exclaimed, resignation crossing his face.  
“Yeah, that sounds like Eiji all right.”, Sing agreed with a smirk on his face. “He’d really be that stupid and would stay here with you despite all the danger.”, he agreed, smiling at Ash.  
“I’m glad you agreed to go with him. You’ll be both fine as long as you’re together.”, Sing assured him. Ash stared at him wide-eyed, utterly shocked, as if that was the last thing he expected Sing to say.  
“Hey, I didn’t go through all the trouble of saving you and giving you new documents so you would stay here and get yourself killed in the process!”, he scolded him.

“I guess not…”, Ash agreed reluctantly.

Then Ash’s eyes suddenly shifted to the door, but instead of tensing up, as Sing had expected, he relaxed completely, smiling at the person opening the door. Sing had never seen Ash smile like that. Ever. No smirk, no sarcastic sneer, no smug look, but instead a small, but honest smile that even reached his eyes, making them shine with happiness. Sing couldn’t help but stare at him and Eiji wide-eyed, completely dumbfounded at this new side of Ash he hadn’t seen yet.

“Hey Sing, good to see you. Seems as if you’re still alive”, Eiji greeted him, a small grin on his face while entering the room, oblivious to Sing’s reaction.

“When Ash woke up and I told him what had happened, he told me he’d kill you.”  
Sing turned around to face Ash again, staring at him incredulously. “That’s the first thing you told Eiji when you were waking up? Really?” Ungrateful bastard… Sing mumbled barely audible at the end.

“Hey, I was on fucking painkillers. And to be precise I told Eiji I’d kill you after thanking you for saving my life.”, Ash defended himself. “And I’ve just done that, so I guess if you insist I can get to the killing part now. This location would be perfect. They even have a morgue here. And a doctor who fakes death certificates…”, Ash explained rationally, but he was only teasing Sing. Who just scowled at him and crossed his arms stubbornly before turning around to Eiji.

“Eiji, please remind me again why we bothered saving that idiot? Or worrying about him?  
My memory seems to have suddenly failed me.”, Sing said, feigning irritation.

Eiji just grinned. “I know the feeling, believe me. He can be a handful and an annoying smartass sometimes. But at the end of the day he’s normally worth it.”

“Can you please talk about me as if I’m in the room with you?”, he complained to them, crossing his arms again, but his annoyance didn’t reach his eyes. Instead Sing noticed that Ash’s features had softened and his eyes were radiating a warmth that hadn’t been there before. He was also more at ease now and even more talkative since Eiji had come in.

Sing just grinned at him and changed the topic to something else he had been curious about.

“So when are you getting discharged, Ash?”

“Tomorrow.”, Ash said. “Finally. I can’t stand hospitals. Took me forever to convince the doc to let me leave earlier. But I guess I’m lucky to be here at all, so I’m not complaining.”, he admitted honestly.

“And your flight?”

“It’s in three days. We stay at a hotel near the airport in the meantime.”, Eiji explained to him.

“Don’t you dare visit us there. Or at the airport. You only lead people to us and blow our cover.”, Ash said stubbornly, green eyes burning dangerously in the dim lighting of the room. Eiji just stared at him, wide-eyed. “Ash!”Ash just shrugged, avoiding his gaze.

“He meant that as a question. With a “please” at the end.”, he translated Ash’s outburst while still making a half-hearted attempt to glare at him accusingly. And gloriously failing. Sing had to chuckle at those two. But after a moment, Eiji got serious again, facing him once more.  
“And please don’t tell anyone that Ash is still alive. Except for Alex and Cain maybe. But no one else.”, Eiji added, worry reflected in his brown eyes.

“Don’t worry. I know all of that. And I won’t jeopardize your departure. And Yut Lung won’t do anything either. He isn’t interested in you anymore. He was only jealous of Eiji. And interested in you, Ash, as a rival.”, Sing assured both of them. “I will tell Alex and Cain after you’ve safely boarded the plane.”, he promised.

“I’m really sad that you’re leaving, but I really hope you have a better life on the other side of the world. That you both can be happy.”, Sing added, smiling at them reassuringly.

Thanks, Sing. We will be.”, Eiji said, radiating complete confidence. “I’ll make sure of that.”

“Well, as far as I’m concerned it can only get better. I only hope that my enemies really believe I’m dead and won’t start looking for me again…”, Ash said more to himself than to anyone else, staring holes in the opposite wall, his eyes darkening with worry.

“Stop overthinking things, Ash, and look forward to your new life. Sometimes good things just happen. Without a deeper meaning behind it. Just accept it.”, Sing replied encouragingly.

Ash looked sadly at him. “I’m trying. But it’s not that easy for me.”

“It’s gonna be ok. You’ll see.”, Eiji promised him.

“I wish you a safe trip to Japan. Make sure you enjoy your new life, Ash. And don’t forget that you still have friends in NYC as well. And that cell phones work in Japan as well.”, Sing said, smirking at him, knowing fairly well that Ash would never be the one to call him.  
“Good bye, Sing. And thanks for everything. For the documents as well. I mean it.”, Ash said, smiling at him. “Tell Alex to take care of my guys. Or I’ll come back and punch him so hard that he doesn’t need an airplane to visit Japan.”, Ash grinned viciously.  
“Alex will just say That sounds like Ash.”, Sing grinned back. “I’ll be going now.”

“Take care of yourself, Sing. And do me a favor and stop being a gang leader. Try something else. Something less dangerous.”  
“I’ll think about it.”, he promised.

“I’ll walk you to the exit.”, Eiji said, following him.

They walked for a few minutes in comfortable silence until they reached the exit. Eiji turned to Sing. “Thanks again for convincing me to save that stubborn idiot. I can’t stop thinking about… that was cutting it really close. If we hadn’t found him in time…” Now there were tears welling up in Eiji’s eyes, running down his face. Sing just hugged him, not saying anything, just held him. After a moment Eiji pulled out of the hug, wiping the tears away with his sleeve. “I’m sorry, Sing. “If I think about how close he was to dying… What if we had only arrived a few minutes later… “

So Eiji wanted to hide his tears in front of Ash, Sing realized with a start. To hide from Ash how much that memory still hurt him. He could relate to that. He couldn’t forget those images of Ash bleeding out either. But the fact remained that Ash was alive. That was the most important thing. Nothing else mattered.

“But, Eiji, no matter how close he was to dying, Ash is still alive. So enjoy your time together with him. The beginning won’t be easy, but I’m sure you’ll work it out. Ash really needs you now. Especially because he isn’t used to such a peaceful way of life. And because he also has to adapt to a new country. A new world. But remember that you’re not alone. If you have any problems or just need to talk, just call me, ok?”, Sing assured him.

“Ok. Thanks, Sing. I really owe you.”, Eiji smiled at him.

“And don’t try to do everything by yourself all the time. Ash can help you as well, you know? He may be a stubborn idiot, but he would do anything for you. Try to rely on him as well.”, he reminded Eiji.

“I will. I’m gonna miss you, Sing. Tell Alex and the others goodbye for me and that I’ll be thinking about them. Cain, too.”

“I promise. I’ll miss you, too. Please tell me if you’ve landed safely in Japan.”

“Ok.”, Eiji hugged him again and then gripped his shoulder, smiling at him. “Come visit us in Japan one day.”

“Yeah, I definitely will. I promise. Bye, Eiji. Have a safe trip. And take care of yourself and that stubborn idiot.”, Sing added with a smile, getting on his bike.

Eiji waved at him when Sing drove away. He waved back, hoping those two would have a better life from now on. But as long as they were together they would be fine.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that the scene with Yut Lung takes place at a later point than in the anime so it’s similar but not the same (on purpose).
> 
> I hope the chapters are not too long? I’m totally bad at writing short chapters. This story should have been finished after 5 chapters and look how that turned out🙄 I normally have to divide the chapters in 2 parts since they are too long. 
> 
> The next chapter will be about Ash and will have more drama again😏 Enjoy!
> 
> I know this is my first story and it’s not perfect because I’m still learning, but thank you all for your kudos, comments and books marks😍! They totally made my day and gave me motivation to write some new chapters;-)


	9. From Dusk Till Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash and Eiji stay at a hotel near the airport to wait for their flight a few days later. 
> 
> Ash is still worried and wonders if agreeing to go to Japan was such a good idea...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that I’ve never been to NYC and The beginning of this story is just based on my imagination.

 

Wide awake in the city that never sleeps. How fitting. But looking out of this hotel room’s window, it felt as if New York was worlds away. Manhattan was always busy, crowded with people coming and going while you were drowning in deafeningly loud noises of every day life. At night it was calmer but never silent, as New York was swallowed up by an endless sea of blindingly bright lights that turned the night into day again, as if proving where the city got its nickname from.

But here at this hotel it was quite the opposite, like another world entirely. Here there were no skyscrapers and no bright lights. The pitch black darkness mixing in with the ghostly silence made it closely resemble Cape Cod. Without the damn wind. Only interrupted by the occasional airplane at night.

Max and Ibe had chosen a hotel near the airport for them, not only because it was close to the airport and therefore extra convenient, but also because Ash and Eiji had to lay low and couldn’t risk running into anyone while waiting for their flight a few days later. And the hotel was a safe distance away from Manhattan, Harlem, Chinatown or any other area downtown where people would recognize them. Especially Ash who was kind of an urban legend around here. And thanks to Max’s article, Ash’s picture had been plastered all over the news for a while. Again. That didn’t make it any easier. So they both had to be extra careful that no one recognized them now. All the hard work and endless efforts of Max and Sing to help Ash get out of the country would go up in smoke in the fraction of a second…

That had apparently also been the reason why Max had drilled it into Ash’s stubborn head not to do anything stupid to ruin all his hard work and keep a low profile. Obviously, Max had just been worried, knowing his impulsive behavior at times. His “dad” also knew about his reckless and sometimes self-destructive behavior from spending so much time with him over the last few years.

But Ash would never blow his cover after everything Max had done for him. Especially not after Eiji had told him how many favors Max had needed to cash in and strings to pull to arrange his stay at the private hospital, the official death certificate and a new identity for him including flawless documents. Although Sing had helped a great deal with the last one. Max and Sing had really not wasted any time to help him. Ash owed them his life. If not for the old man’s lightning fast reaction to Eiji’s call he’d be dead by now for sure. He’d never forget how much he had done for him. Not that he’d ever tell him that. But if he was completely honest, it had still meant a lot to him. His “dad”could be a real pain in the ass sometimes. But he was one of the few people he could count on besides Eiji.

Ash was lying in bed, his green eyes staring absent-mindedly at the ceiling above him, endless bits and pieces of his last talk with Eiji dancing in front of his eyes, like an infinite loop, repeating certain details over and over again. His mind never got tired of questioning, doubting and reflecting parts of that conversation, torturing him endlessly, so that sleep was out of the question.

Ash wished he could find sleep as easily as Eiji who was always sleeping peacefully before his head had even touched the pillow. It was already midnight and he hadn’t really slept well in days, not since the day of their departure was approaching. Still, even when in desperate need of a good night’s sleep, his damn mind had no intention to shut down anytime soon. With that pitch-black darkness overwhelming him and that deafeningly loud silence echoing eternally in his ears there was no fucking way he could distract himself.

He had too many conflicting thoughts swirling around in his mind – hope, relief, gratitude, worry, guilt, fear, restlessness. He especially had mixed feelings about going to Japan.   Yeah, he wanted to go, but at the same time his inner voice kept telling him that a new and happier life will never work out. Not for someone like him...

And yet, Ash began to realize slowly that Eiji really meant what he had told him. That he was really serious about taking him to Japan. Of course, Ash had heard what Eiji had told him, but none of the people he had trusted before had ever stayed by his side. Not for long. They had all left him eventually. Apparently he hadn’t been worth the trouble. So it was hard for him to believe that someone else would really stay. But he really wished that Eiji would stay and prove him wrong. He was more at ease when Eiji was around. His presence just radiated warmth and made him feel safe. Protected. For the first time in his pathetic life. And there was no need to explain all his doubts, fears and worries to Eiji. Because he somehow just knew. He could see the understanding and compassion reflected in his eyes sometimes. Eiji knew him so damn well that he always noticed the tiniest details about him. The tiniest changes in his behavior. So Ash didn’t have to tell him how on edge he felt at times and that he still worried about endangering Eiji’s life when going to Japan with him. That he was afraid that Eiji would leave him as well eventually. Eiji just knew all his fears and worries, as if one look at his face held all the answers. He had some kind of x-ray vision that could look through his supposedly impenetrable inner walls and right into his raw emotions. Even if he tried to hide them. Damn him! That scared the hell out of him sometimes. But he had to admit to himself that it simplified things for him. A lot. Because he was fucking bad at dealing with emotions. He had only learnt how to suppress them, not to allow them, to show them, let alone explain them…

Ash still couldn’t believe that Eiji had really come back for him, saving his life in the end. Despite being injured himself. He had only realized how much he had hurt Eiji with his final decision to bleed out when Eiji had completely broken down in front of him, an ocean of tears running down his face. He will never forget the unbearable amount of hurt reflected in his brown eyes.

_Have you ever thought about me when doing that?_

To be completely honest, he hadn’t thought about Eiji at all. At least not in that way. He had only been relieved that Eiji would be finally safe back in Japan. Nothing else had really mattered to him back then. The possibility that Eiji would be completely devastated by his death had never even occurred to him. That realization was much more agonizing than any stab wound could ever be.  
He had never foreseen the unlikely possibility of Eiji coming back for him. Saving him. And especially finding him like that…  
  
_I’m the the worst._

But even after all the pain Eiji had endured because of his reckless final decision, the simple fact remained that Eiji was still here. And he stubbornly refused to leave. Telling him over and over that he wouldn’t leave him alone again. _Wherever you are, I will follow. So simple, right? _Unfortunately his mind wasn’t convinced so easily. He had already suffered through too much shit to accept so easily that people genuinely just wanted to help him. Without demanding anything from him in return. Just because they cared. That whole concept was new to him. But he slowly began to understand that Eiji just wanted him to have the peaceful normal life he had always longed for. Just because Eiji thought he deserved a better life. A second chance. As puzzling as that still was for him, Eiji wanted to stay by his side. Forever._ _

__

__

Starting a new life still sounded like a dream to Ash. A fresh start. A clean slate. Never in his life had he thought it would ever come true. He had never even thought he would have a future, realizing his way of life would surely lead to an early and probably violent death. But Ash slowly began to realize that this really was his once-in-a-lifetime chance. One that he shouldn’t waste. And that he was really damn lucky to be alive at all. Thanks to three people who really cared about him and had saved his pathetic life. Again.

And yet he still worried what could happen to prevent that his wish came true at the last second, he couldn’t really help thinking like that. Because finding a happy ending for himself on top of finding someone amazing like Eiji who really wanted to stay by his side was just too good to be true for his superior mind. Wishful thinking. Too easy.

But Eiji wasn’t like that. He didn’t have ulterior motives. Eiji was just a genuinely good and selfless person. Who just cared. And worried. A lot. He would never ask for any disgusting and twisted favor in return. No one had done so much for him. Ever. He still didn’t understand entirely why Eiji did all of that, but he knew that a life without him would be empty and meaningless. Eiji was the only one who made his pathetic life worth living. Eiji didn’t see the monster in him, but the broken human being who was still hurting and suffering greatly. With Eiji he could be a normal teenager. Eiji taught him to feel again. Trust again. Live again. Not just survive from one day to the next, but actually live for the first time in his life. And maybe even think about a possible future.

Eiji had told him that it wasn’t selfish to wish for a better life. Maybe it was really ok to wish for that? And if Eiji wanted that for him as well … Maybe it was really alright to grasp his dream of a peaceful life together with Eiji, the only one who made him a better person? Because for the first time in his life he desperately wished for something. He wanted to stay with Eiji no matter what. And Eiji wanted that, too. Eiji had told him that he wanted to spend his life only with him by his side. That his life would also be empty without him. So it was ok, right? Or was that asking too much? After all the heinous crimes he had committed…?

He had been wondering over and over if it was even possible to outrun his dark past. If Eiji was really safe with him by his side. If he was honest that had always been his greatest fear. That Eiji got hurt again because of him. That his mere presence in Japan put him in danger again. That his enemies would find him eventually. That he dragged Eiji down with him. He couldn’t do that to him. Not again. He was so afraid of that, it sent shivers down his spine just thinking about the unlikely scenario.

Several times already he had been this close to telling Eiji that he would stay here in New York. That he couldn’t fly to Japan with him. That he’d only endanger his life again. That violence will surely follow him everywhere.

But he just couldn’t do that to Eiji. Not after seeing how happy Eiji had been when he had finally agreed to go with him. His eyes had practically been glowing golden with pure happiness, beaming at him in that pure, innocent way Eiji had. Seeing that, Ash knew he would never be able to leave him. He was just defenseless against Eiji’s sincere smile and his warm chocolate brown eyes. At the same time he had also remembered that if he stayed here, Eiji would, too. Eiji had made that perfectly clear.

_I’m not leaving you alone again. If you stay here, I’ll stay, too._

Seeing the unbreakable determination in Eiji’s brown eyes at that moment, Ash knew he had made up his mind a long time ago and nothing he’d do could ever change that. It was a lost battle. Eiji could be stubborn as hell, especially when it came to him.

_So what the hell am I supposed to do now?_

He just shifted from one side of the bed to the other but he just couldn’t find any sleep. His superior mind wouldn’t allow it. Sometimes he wished there was a switch off button for his damn mind. But it was a hopeless struggle. He knew he should sleep. His eyes were burning from lack of sleep and were probably tinged with red. Their flight was tomorrow. But like the night before he just couldn’t relax. No matter what he tried. There were too many conflicting thoughts spinning around in his mind making it impossible for him to calm down. He covered his eyes with one hand, admitting defeat. Fuck.

He finally sat up, lowering his head in his hands, giving up on sleep entirely. He thought about distracting himself by reading one of his books. Anything to keep his mind busy. But he would need to switch on the light to read. And then he’d wake Eiji up, so he couldn’t do that… He’d only worry about nothing. And overdramatize everything...

Sometimes he wished he could think in such simple terms as Eiji did. Eiji had even been able to sleep when constantly surrounded by danger and violence. Although he hadn’t been used to that way of life at all. When Ash had asked him about it, Eiji had simply told him that he had trusted Ash to keep him safe and had known he’d protect him. That was why he had been able to sleep so peacefully. So damn simple. Eiji’s way of thinking and his ability to trust people so easily was just amazing. Of course, Ash would have been dead long ago with such a trusting personality. But right now his way of thinking would really come in handy. It would help him stop worrying so much and it would help him relax. And sleep. Maybe he should…

Suddenly sensing someone coming closer, he instantly awoke from his stupor. He reacted lightning-fast and instinctively twisted the arm and forcefully pinned the person down before he knew what he was doing.

“Ash, stop! That hurts!” Eiji called out desperately. “It’s me, Eiji, ok?”

“Eiji? What the hell?”, Ash exclaimed, freeing him instantly. Fuck, he had never even heard him coming over until he had been standing right in front of him…

“You should know better than to sneak up on me like that.”, he complained in an annoyed tone. His lack of sleep didn’t really help his bad mood.

“I didn’t. I called your name like three times already. You apparently didn’t hear me.”, he defended himself, rubbing his arm. “You didn’t even notice me switching on the light at my bedside table.”

“Oh… Sorry, Eiji. I must have been totally lost in thought...”, Ash replied silently. “I always end up hurting you … “, he sighed guiltily, his voice flooded with regret, looking down at his hands. A killer’s hands. Who had just harmed the only person…

“No, it’s ok. Don’t worry, Ash. I was just surprised. That’s all.”, Eiji replied, pulling him out of his guilt-trip in a soft voice. “I couldn’t see your face in the semi-darkness so I assumed you’d heard me.”, he reassured Ash, talking a bit too fast. Seeing him like that, Ash couldn’t help but smile slightly.

“Why did you come over anyway? In the middle of the night?”, he changed the topic.

“I wanted you to stop tormenting yourself.”, Eiji explained honestly.

“Excuse me? I didn’t even say anything. How - ?” Ash asked in confusion, frowning at him.

“You didn’t have to. I could hear your thoughts loud and clear. You were overthinking things again. And you haven’t slept at all. Your eyes were open the whole time and you were shifting from one side to the other from the start. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

_Shit_.

“I have never told you that but… I always wait until you are asleep. I only go to sleep after that.”,  
Eiji admitted, his cheeks flushed a bit with embarrassment.

“Why… why would you do such a thing…?”, Ash asked dumbfounded. “I’ve never even noticed that…”, he admitted reluctantly.

“I can sleep more soundly if I know you’re fine. That you’re not having nightmares or are suffering.” Ash just stared at him, his green eyes widening in disbelief, at a loss for words. Eiji never failed to impress him. How he deserved such an amazing and selfless person was beyond him.

“So tell me what’s bothering you. You seem… restless.”  
  
_Eiji Okumura, king of understatement._

Ash sighed in frustration. “Eiji, are you still sure you want to take me to Japan? Maybe you’ll regret that. Not now, but later on?”, Ash asked quietly, expecting Eiji to get mad at him. He had asked that question too many times by now. But at the same time he needed the reassurance, even if Eiji had given him the answer over and over again. Eiji seemed to notice that, too.  
“Ash, of course, I’m sure. I wouldn’t have asked you otherwise. And I won’t regret spending my life with such an amazing and smart person as you are. I would never leave you just because you have some nightmares. Or because you are suffering. I would never do that to you, Ash. You know that, right?”, Eiji asked, a concerned frown on his face.

Ash didn’t reply. He needed to hear that, but he still couldn’t believe Eiji’s words, not entirely. There were always doubts lingering behind in his mind.

_All other people have left me eventually. So why not Eiji as well? I’m not worth it._

Eiji took Ash’s hand and looked into his eyes filling with doubt, questioning his motives again.

“Ash, just tell me one thing. Do you want to come to Japan with me? Is this what you truly want?”  
“I…I do, but…”  
“Ok, then please stop overthinking things. Nothing bad will happen. You deserve a new life more than anyone else. And you’re not alone. I’m here with you. Always. So stop worrying so much and just try to relax.”  
Ash smiled sadly at him. “I’m just worried. I just don’t want to put you in any more danger, Eiji. I want you to finally be safe.”, he explained himself, looking down at his hands. He had started shivering, the mere thought of losing Eiji scared him to death. A single tear ran silently down his pale face.

Seeing that, Eiji slowly moved a bit closer and put a hand around Ash’s shoulders. “Everything will be ok. We will both be safe in Japan. I promise. No one will hurt you ever again. Or me.” Ash flinched a tiny bit at the touch, but didn’t pull back. Instead he stopped shivering and instantly relaxed, warmth spreading throughout his body. He immediately felt safe. Protected. Eiji tightened his grip a bit when he felt Ash relax and Ash’s head dropped onto his shoulder, all the tension finally leaving his body.  
“I’m sorry, Eiji. I just keep seeing obstacles and enemies at every corner. I just do that automatically. I can’t help it. It’s basic instinct of survival for me.”, Ash tried to explain.

“ It’s ok, Ash. I don’t blame you for doing that. And I know you can’t just stop that from one day to the other. That will take time. I only ask you to trust me. To believe me when I say that we’ll both be safe and we will deal with any difficulties when they arise, ok? And that I won’t leave you, even if we encounter any problems along the way.”

_We_. Eiji always said _we_. Not _I_ or _you_. _We. Us_. As if it would be the most natural thing for them to always be together. Inseparable forever. It made him smile and look at him again. “Our bond is stronger than that. As long as we’re together we will pull through anything, ok?”, Eiji promised him, ruffling his hair.

Ash just stared at him wide-eyed in complete shock. After a moment of silence he nodded, but a hint of a doubt was still lingering in his jade green eyes. Of course, Eiji saw that, too.

“Ash, would you abandon me here in New York? Leave me here, alone and unprotected in your cruel world?”, Eiji suddenly asked frustrated, taking him totally off guard.

“No, I’d never do that to you.”, Ash exclaimed furiously, his green eyes suddenly flaring up with anger, glowing dangerously in the semi-darkness. “Why would you even ask that? You should know better!” Eiji touched his shoulder gently, answering in a soft voice:

“Calm down. Of course, I know that, Ash. But that’s the point. Then how can you think I could ever do something like that to you?”, he asked sadly, the hurt and disappointment evident in his brown eyes.

“In theory I know you would never do that.”, Ash tried to make him understand his train of thought. Then he looked down at his hands, ashamed of himself, for even considering that... “But all the people before you did, you know? They all left me eventually.”, he admitted sadly. “Persons I trusted as well. So I sometimes worry you’ll leave me, too. One day. If I’m too much trouble.”, he admitted, finally looking up at him uncertainly.

“Ash, you aren’t trouble. Or a burden. Not to me.”, Eiji explained patiently, gripping his shoulder, while his face radiated determination. “You are an incredible and amazing person who had just experienced a lot of horrifying and disgusting things I can’t even begin to imagine, ok? So you’re worth it. Always.”, Eiji replied compassionately, looking directly into Ash’s pained green eyes.

“But—“, Ash began. Eiji interrupted him softly.

“I really want to see the moment when you notice what a wonderful and brilliant person you truly are. Not the bad person you see right now, but the kind and warm-hearted one I see every day.”

“That won’t be happening…”, Ash replied glumly, eyes downcast. “I’ll never see myself that way…”

Eiji turned his head upwards again. “No, it will definitely happen. Not now, but eventually. I’ll make sure it does.” Looking at his radiant and warm smile Ash nearly believed him. “I won’t tell you that it will always be easy, especially at the beginning.”, Eiji told him honestly. “But we’ll figure it out together.” Ash nodded, feeling relieved that Eiji had realized as well that it wouldn’t be easy at the beginning. That his nightmares and his suffering will probably get worse before he would finally be getting better.

“Eiji, what am I going to do in Japan?”, Ash asked, suddenly curious. They hadn’t even talked about the details yet. He didn’t even know where they would live or if Eiji’s parents knew about him.

“You mean what are we going to do?”, he corrected him gently.

“Uhm…yeah. Where do we live? Are we going to live with your parents? What are we going to do for money? What about your college? Please tell me you have a detailed plan or a strategy of some kind.”

Hearing him talk so rationally as if planning another mission while seeing Ash’s deadly serious face, Eiji suddenly couldn’t help but burst out laughing, tears steaming down his face. As if that had been the most hilarious thing he had ever heard. Ash just stared at him wide-eyed. He could practically feel the faint blush spreading across his cheeks, completely flustered at Eiji’s unexpected outburst. He had no fucking idea how to react to that. Seeing his embarrassed face made Eiji only laugh harder while Ash looked away stubbornly, pouting.

“Ash,”, Eiji finally said after wiping his tears away, “I’m not you. So I don’t always have a perfect plan for everything and several alternative options.” Eiji must have seen Ash’s shocked face because he continued in a more serious tone. “But don’t worry. I rented a small apartment for us. Ibe helped me with that. It’s close to my parents’ home. And to college. It’s small and only partly furnished, so we have to buy some furniture and other things but that’s it. We can move right in. But for now I just want to wake up to your jade green eyes and golden hair each morning. Listen to your heartbeat. Know you’re still alive. And safe. We figure everything else out when we are in Japan. Maybe I can continue my studies and finish college. And you can start by learning Japanese.”, he said smiling, messing up his blonde hair before putting an arm around his shoulders again.

_What the hell am I supposed to say to that?_

How could Eiji say such embarrassing and cheesy things with a straight face like that? That wasn’t fair. But he had to say something. Anything. But how was he supposed to do that when his mind just went blank? Fuck. But not answering was out of the question because Eiji’s eyes were still filled with concern.

“I … thank you? For everything. For being here with me.”, he answered slowly, a trace of hesitation in his voice. “I’m feeling better now. I think I’m trying to sleep now.” Apparently it was enough, since Eiji smiled at him, relief flooding his eyes.

“Good. You look much more relaxed now. Then let’s lie down again and sleep, ok? Or you’ll be exhausted before our flight even begins.” Ash just nodded, lying down with him, a slight smile running away from his face.

Eiji pulled the blanket over them both and put his arms around him.  
That was the last thing Ash noticed before drifting to a sound sleep.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, when starting this story I wanted to end the story with Ash and Eiji flying to Japan. So the next chapter was supposed to be the last, but since so many people read, commented, bookmarked and gave kudos for my story, I’m wondering if I should continue.🙂
> 
> Please tell me if you want me to continue?
> 
> As always, kudos, comments and bookmarks for my story totally make my day.😍
> 
> The next episode will be about Ash and Eiji finally flying to Japan.  
> And Ash saying goodbye to Max.


	10. Another Missed Flight?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eiji and Ash are finally flying to Japan. Or are they?  
> After saying their goodbyes to Max and Ibe, they are stopped by someone who could get in their way. 
> 
> How will they react?
> 
> Will they still be able to catch their flight?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This was supposed to be the end of my story. But I decided to continue the story in Japan because some of you asked me to and I have to much fun writing that.😉  
> But I won’t create a new story, although the title might not fit the chapters in Japan. I’ll just keep updating this one.
> 
> I hope you’ll continue reading this story 🙂

 

“Ash, are you coming?”, Eiji called out to him impatiently. Ash sighed, grabbing his bag and throwing his backpack over his shoulder. But not before glancing around nervously, automatically checking if someone had followed them here or had been watching them from any direction. Better to be safe than sorry. He wanted to believe Eiji that everything was fine, but he couldn’t help double checking. He wouldn’t repeat his mistake and let his guard down around Eiji again…

Max and Ibe had insisted on driving them to the airport and saying good bye to them. Eiji and the two of them were already heading to the entrance of the airport. Of course not one of them had even bothered checking the areas for any danger. Typical. They spent more than one year with him, were threatened, kidnapped, nearly tortured, got shot or hurt and had learned absolutely nothing from those horrifying experiences. They still acted like completely naive tourists that were sad their little sightseeing trip to the Big Apple was over. He couldn’t believe how carefree they still behaved after all the shit they had been through because of him. He secretly wished he could feel so relaxed, but his harsh life had taught him better. For him peace was an illusion that made him suspicious, a bubble that would burst into nothingness when he was slacking off only for a second. His whole body had tensed up as soon as he got out of the car, his smart mind expecting an attack at any moment. Everything just went too smoothly for his taste until now. It was too easy. Or was it?

Eiji called out to him impatiently. Again. He had insisted they’d leave early because this time he intended to catch the plane. But which idiot went to the airport two hours before a flight?, he thought to himself, silently grumbling. It gave his enemies only more opportunities to attack them.  
An airport was the perfect place to do so, a wide and open space without any obstacles to hide behind as cover. It was the perfect opportunity as well since he didn’t carry a weapon for once. The mere thought sent shivers down his spine. He gripped his bag a little harder than necessary, looked around one last time, then walked towards them.

While heading towards them, he thought back to his conversation with Eiji about leaving New York. Eiji had asked him if it was hard for him to leave New York. But it really wasn’t, he had realized. Although he himself had been half-surprised by his quick response.

“No, it’s not. New York has never been a real home to me, it was more like a living hell on earth or a constant battlefield. I won’t regret leaving here. Only horrible things have happened to me while living here.”

_Except for meeting you._

To be honest he was just relieved and grateful to be able to leave this city. And go someplace where no one knew him, his dark past and his connection to Dino and his syndicate. Of course, he’d miss his gang, especially Alex and all those dumb idiots like Kong and Bones that had been more of a family to him than anyone else. But his gang would be safe with Alex as the new leader. And he certainly wouldn’t miss being a gang leader, that was for sure. He had only become one to protect himself and others close to him. He wouldn’t miss the cruel and violent world of warfare and crime.

He had always wished for a normal life similar to Eiji’s. A life where you didn’t need a gun or a knife. Where you were able to live in peace, instead of just surviving from one day to the next. Where your biggest problems were that you missed the last bus, what to cook tonight or which college to choose. He had always envied Eiji because he grew up in a peaceful and quiet world like this with a loving family that actually worried about him. He had always dreamed of living in an ordinary world where people were working normal 9-to-5 jobs, raised their kids and lived freely without any real danger threatening their daily lives. Where guns and sinister incidents like violence, rape and murder stayed in the fictional world of crime series like _CSI New York._

“Ash, come on. We have to find our check-in counter.”, Eiji said, pulling him out of his daydreaming, taking his wrist and leading him into the airport. When Ash started to look around again, always on guard, Eiji looked at him. “Everything will be fine. I promise.”, he said, turning around to him. Eiji’s self-confident smile made him relax a little.

After they had checked in their luggage, it took them some time to find the right security gate. That’s when Ibe and Max had to say goodbye to them. Ibe was working on an article together with Max at the moment and wouldn’t fly back with them. Ash thanked Ibe and asked him to see his photos of New York someday. Ibe smiled at him and nodded. Then he slowly placed a hand on Ash’s shoulder. “Ash, not everyone gets a second chance in life. Don’t let it go to waste. Try to enjoy your new life and live the life you’ve always wished for. And take care of Eiji for me. He went through a lot, too.”, Ibe added , a worried look on his face while turning to look at Eiji. “I will, I promise.”, Ash replied honestly while following his gaze to the spot where Eiji talked cheerfully to Max and said goodbye to him, oblivious to their gazes.

“Eiji, take good care of my _son_.”, Max said with a grin on his face. “He needs someone to look after him. And to tell him what an insufferable idiot he is sometimes.”, he added, gripping Ash’s shoulder lightly after he had walked over to them. Ash flinched a bit at the unexpected touch, then gave him a dirty look.  
“Go to hell, old man!”, Ash grumbled irritatedly.  
“You know, kid, after everything I’ve been through with you, hell will be a relaxing walk in the park for me.”, Max replied nonchalantly, smirking at him. “Told you to stay out of it.”, Ash sneered back at him. “Your fault for not listening.”

Eiji just grinned at both of them. “Don’t worry, Max, I can handle that stubborn idiot.” Ash just stared at him, feigning annoyance. “Which side are you on?”, Ash complained to him, crossing his arms defiantly.

“Ei-chan, do you have a minute? I want to talk to you about something before you leave.”, Ibe asked Eiji. He promised Eiji he’d come back in a few weeks and explain everything properly to his family. And that he had told his mother over the phone that he had been shot when mixed up in a mugging gone wrong and he should stick to that story. Eiji just smiled sadly at him. “Do you really think my family would believe it if I told them the truth? They would tell me to look for psychological help because I lost touch with reality.” Ibe just smiled back at him, relaxing slightly. “You’re probably right. Sounds like a thriller, a gang movie or a murder mystery.”

Apparently they both wanted to give Ash and Max the chance to talk alone, since they walked a few meters away from them before continuing their conversation.

Max turned to Ash, suddenly a sad look on his face. Or was that concern? Ash couldn’t really tell.

“So this is goodbye, huh?”, Max said, suddenly sounding like a concerned parent. “Take care of yourself, Ash. And listen to Eiji, alright? And don’t be so stubborn all the time and talk to him. He’d do anything to help you, ok?”

“Yeah, I will.”, Ash answered honestly, never stopping to watch his surroundings carefully.

“Ash, you and Eiji will be both safe in Japan. You deserve a happier life. So make the most out of your new life, ok? This is your second chance, kid.”, Max assured him.

Ash’s eyes had softened a bit, but there was still a shadow of worry lingering behind. Running a hand through his hair, he replied “I’ll try my best.” Max smiled at him. “If you’re with Eiji everything will work out. You’ll see.”  
That made Ash actually smile. “Yeah, I know.”

Ash wanted to say something else to Max. He was the main reason he was still alive after all. Without his incredibly fast reaction and his arrangement with that private hospital he wouldn’t have survived. However, he was here. Still alive. And at the airport. A new life ahead of him. With Eiji by his side.  
He looked away from Max, avoiding his gaze. He had never been good at things like that. Emotions. He had only learned to suppress them, ignore them. Never to express them or how to react to them. So his smart mind just drew a blank when trying. Damn! It seemed so easy when Eiji did that. He always said what he was feeling without thinking twice.  
But not mentioning to Max how grateful he was would be more than rude after all he had done for him. Thankfully Max had noticed his hesitation as well. “What is it, Ash?”  
That made Ash finally look at him, resolve returning to his green eyes. He sighed dramatically, realizing a mere _“thank you”_ wouldn’t cut it this time. Not by a long shot. But he had not the slightest idea what else to say.

“I wanted to tell you something before I leave.”, Ash began, hiding his clenched fists in the pockets of his jacket, his eyes flickering nervously while looking away from him again.

“Thank you. For … saving my life… And getting me to that hospital.” Then he looked straight into his eyes. “I probably wouldn’t be standing here without your help…” Max stared at him, eyes widening, completely astonished for a moment, but then his features softened considerably and a warm smile started to spread across his face.

_Damn that old man, he can’t look at me with such a caring expression. Only Eiji is allowed to look at me like that…_

Before he knew it, a silent tear ran down his face. Seeing that, Max put his arms around his shoulders and slowly hugged him. After a moment of hesitation, Ash clumsily hugged him as well.

“You’ll be fine, Ash. Enjoy your new life. And try to forget the rest. I know that won’t be easy for you, but remember that you’re not alone. And I’m not just talking about Eiji, you know.”, Max assured him. That last sentence made Ash slowly pull out of the hug and look up at him, a confused expression crossing his face.

“I’ll be in Japan in a few weeks. Together with Shunichi. I’ll be seeing you then.”, he explained, grinning.

“And don’t you dare not meeting with me or I’ll make sure to drag your sorry ass off myself.”, he told him threateningly, smirking at him.

Ash just rolled his eyes dramatically. “Whatever you say, old man…”, Ash said stubbornly. But then he looked up at him again, half-smiling. “Thanks, _dad_. For everything.”

“Have a safe trip, kid.”

  
After Max and Ibe had left, Ash and Eiji went through security just fine, so Ash’s new documents really were foolproof or the real deal. He could see the relief overwhelming Eiji’s features when he got through security without any difficulties. He could basically see the tension and the worry running away from his face, his whole body finally relaxing. Eiji’s way too honest face was always so damn funny it made him smile and relax instantly, only feeling a tiny bit guilty for worrying him. Eiji probably hadn’t been worried that his new passport wasn’t genuine, but instead that he would bring anything with him in his carry-on baggage he wouldn’t get through security. Like a knife or any other sharp object.

Eiji had explained to him the security regulation at the airport and what he could and couldn’t get through security screening. He had been completely shocked that Ash had never heard of those rules to pass security before. But since Ash had only flown on Dino’s private airplanes, he had never been forced to go through any security gates. He didn’t understand those ridiculous rules at all, but apparently you couldn’t bring any sharp objects in your carry-on baggage. Ash had pointed out to Eiji that those rules were absurd. If he wanted to kill someone he would, with or without stricter security rules. Hell, he could just strangle someone with his shoe laces or his belt, he didn’t necessarily need any sharp object. If security only knew what his hands were capable of, they would never let him pass through security. He was a deadly weapon himself after all.

Eiji had just stared at him, giving him an exasperated look. But he just loved teasing Eiji and seeing all his honest emotions playing one after another on his face. It was fucking hilarious. Eiji had explained to him that he could only bring knives or anything like that in his suitcase, but not in any carry-on baggage. And that he had to get his weapon registered and checked in together with his bag before taking it on a flight. Ash had grinned wickedly at him. “Yeah, that conversation will be really entertaining.”, he replied.  
_“Good afternoon, I want to register my illegally obtained .357 Magnum with a filed off serial number for which I don’t even have a gun license or a permit.”_ Ash couldn’t help but smirk at that comical scenario.  
Eiji had just stared at him wide-eyed for even considering that. But Ash had just been messing with him. He never wanted to use a gun again in his life. That was all in the past. But he did have a knife in his bag he had checked in. Because you never knew…

Ash was looking at a book store’s window while Eiji checked which way the gate was they had to go to. They still had to kill time because boarding time was only in one hour. Ash wasn’t really looking at the books for once, he was trying to distract himself from all the possible worst-case scenarios he had come up with that would prevent him from leaving at the last second. He had automatically checked all escape routes and emergency exits already. He just wanted to board that damn plane as fast as possible. Without any obstacles or danger preventing that or endangering Eiji or anyone else.

He just stood there, trembling at the mere thought, his hands clenched into fists while his penetrating gaze was burning holes in the book store’s window. He was about to look for Eiji when he saw a familiar reflection in the window and felt a sudden movement behind him. One that didn’t belong to Eiji. But to someone else he knew only too well. Who moved much too silently to be an ordinary tourist. Standing there in his extravagant Chinese clothes, he had made sure he was the center of attention. But the vicious gleam darkening his eyes and the dangerous aura surrounding him assured that people stayed a good distance away from him. Some of his bodyguards were standing some meters away, hiding efficiently in the shadows, practically invisible.

Ash turned around at lightning speed, facing his opponent, his eyes turning hard and emotionless, flaring up dangerously.

“So Ash Lynx is really still alive, huh?”, Yut-Lung began, standing there with crossed arms and a smug look on his face. 

Before Ash had the chance to think of a witty reply or even understood what was happening, Eiji had moved in front of him in a protective stance, asking confidently “What do you want from us?”, glaring coldly at the Chinese. 

Ash was momentarily paralyzed, unable to move, staring at Eiji’s reckless behavior in complete disbelief. For Ash it felt like a déjà vu. Reminding him too much of the moment when Eiji pushed him out of harm’s way, taking the bullet for him. The situation now was exactly the same. Only without the gun. Eiji putting himself in front of Ash without a moment’s hesitation. Despite knowing he could protect himself. He had never seen such a terrifyingly cold glare on Eiji’s face before, mixing in with utter determination. Seeing such a hardened expression on Eiji’s face shocked him more than anything else. It sent a chill down his spine.

“So your favorite pet is protecting you now? Pathetic.”, Yut-Lung spat viciously, throwing a death glare towards Eiji. Who didn’t even flinch and stared right back.

That made Ash wake up from his stupor at last, moving in front of Eiji. “What the hell do you want, little girl?”, he demanded coolly.  
“And how did you know which flight we would take?”, Eiji added curiously. “Sing –“

“I have my ways. I don’t need Sing’s help for some easy task like that. That idiot doesn’t even know I’m here. Naturally, I have enough connections and a tightly knit network to find out when you two leave the country.”, he answered snidely.

Ash grew more and more impatient. “This is the last time I will ask nicely. What the fuck do you want? Kill us?, he asked nonchalantly. “You should have done that the last few months. I was a really easy target.”, he added, his cold voice dripping with sarcasm. “But that’s not the reason you’re here, is it?”

“No, I don’t wish to kill you anymore, Ash.”, explained Yut Lung calmly. “You’re not a cold-blooded and lethal lynx anymore, but a mere pathetic little kitten. I was only interested in you as a worthy rival, an equally strong and smart opponent. But now that the Lynx got domesticated, you aren’t worth my time.”, he added with a sneer spreading across his face.

“I’m sure you’ll find another toy to play with…”, Ash added teasingly. “But that still doesn’t explain why you took all the trouble and wasted your precious time just to come here.”, Ash mocked him. “Just get this over with. We don’t have all day.”, he complained while looking at his watch. “As you know we have a flight to catch.”, he reminded him, his green eyes darkening ominously.

“I just wanted to see with my own eyes that you’re really still alive.”, he replied indifferently, shrugging. “And I wanted to see your shocked face. And that was totally worth it.”, he taunted him.

“And what will happen now? You’re gonna shout it from the rooftops?”, Ash asked, a smug look on his face, knowing perfectly well that would never happen. Not as long as Sing was there and had him wrapped around his little finger.

“I won’t gain anything from telling anyone.”,he confirmed Ash’s assumption. But after a moment a frosty smile crossed his face, making his eyes glow threateningly.

“I just wanted to make sure you really leave New York for good. As long as you stay in Japan and won’t interfere with my business here in NYC, I won’t tell anyone you’re alive. But if you come back, things will change.”, Yut Lung tried to intimidate him, a self-satisfied look on his face. “The same goes for your pathetic little pet here.”, he concluded, glowering menacingly at Eiji who glared back as intensely.

Ash really wished he could wipe that arrogant look off his pretty face, but he was way too smart to fall for Yut Lung’s provocation. Even Eiji saw what he was trying to do. “People have already noticed us.”, he whispered to Ash. He looked around, realizing that Eiji was right. Fuck. The last thing he wanted to do was to cause a commotion and draw attention to himself.

“Why the fuck would I ever come back here? I’m officially dead. Thanks for being the errand boy for my new documents by the way.”, he challenged him, a wicked grin playing on his face. Yut Lung’s posture stiffened while glaring at him with unhidden disgust.

“I just want to get the hell outta here. So you worried your pretty little head over nothing.”, he assured him. “So take your goons back to your fancy little mansion, drink a glass of champagne and keep getting on Sing’s nerves.”, he suggested, an ironic smile dawning on his face. Before Yut-Lung had the chance to react to that, Ash continued quickly.

“And do me a favor and never come to Japan. That country is too small for the both of us. And if you have to keep living on the same planet as me, I want to have at least 5000 kilometers of safe distance between us.”, Ash finished seriously, his voice mildly threatening.

Yut-Lung smiled icily at him, head held high.

  
“So glad we agree on that. I’ll see for myself that you’re really boarding that plane. Trust is good, control is better. So I’ll be going now. Sayonara. I also hope we’ll never meet again.”

And with a final arrogant sneer at them, he tossed his black hair, turned around and left where he had come from, his bodyguards discreetly following him. Ash watched him intently with narrowed eyes until he rounded a corner and disappeared from his sight.

“You think he’ll keep his promise?”, Eiji asked, concern flooding his face while standing next to him. Ash didn’t answer right away, he was trying hard to control his temper. And miserably failing. Ash suddenly turned around, facing him, pure anger dominating his face, his green eyes burning brightly.

  
“What the fuck, Eiji? What the hell were you thinking? Standing in front of me? I can protect myself, goddammit! What if he had attacked you?”, Ash shouted angrily.

“I still would have done the same.” Eiji said stubbornly, completely unimpressed by his outburst.

“And then what? Smile him to death?”

“I never think that far ahead. That’s your super power, not mine. I just wanted to protect you. That’s all.”, he simply said, his features radiating pure honesty.

Ash just smacked his head in frustration. “Goddamn, Eiji, you’re the most stupid and reckless person I have ever met. Stop doing crazy things like that. And that frighteningly cold look on your face…”, Ash added, avoiding his gaze. “Fucking scary.”, he admitted reluctantly.

“So the infamous gang leader Ash Lynx is scared of me?” Eiji asked, teasing him, trying to lighten up the mood.

“Damn, why am I even trying? You’ve never listened to me before…, he sighed in resignation. “ You can be a completely hopeless and stubborn idiot sometimes, you know that?”, Ash scolded him, but he couldn’t hide the hint of a smile flitting across his face.

“Too bad then that you decided to spend your life together with that idiot in Japan.”, Eiji said, grinning mischievously. Ash ran a hand through his blonde hair and groaned. “Must have been the painkillers that made me agree to that…”

“Come on, let’s stop arguing and grab something to eat. Thanks to Yut-Lung, we don’t have much time until our flight is called. And we still have to find the right gate.”, Eiji changed the topic, showing him a small café a few meters away.

“I’m not hungry.”, Ash said stubbornly, avoiding his gaze while crossing his arms.  
Eiji just rolled his eyes, then glared at him fiercely.

“Unfortunately the world doesn’t only revolve around you.” Because I’m hungry. And you wouldn’t have said that if you had tasted the food on airplanes. Those meals will make you wish for natto.”, Eiji explained and burst out laughing when he was seeing the pure horror and disgust reflected on Ash’s face.

_Was airplane food really that bad? Surely, Eiji was exaggerating, right?_

They quickly found a table at the café where Eiji convinced him to eat something. Ash immediately refused, but Eiji reminded him sternly that he hadn’t eaten anything all day, giving him a determined stare. He knew that look. When Eiji looked like that it was pointless arguing. So Ash sighed dramatically and finally gave in, too exhausted to fight with him. While he was still eating, Eiji talked endlessly about the flight and all the things they would do in Japan, but Ash wasn’t really paying attention for once. He was still tense and worried, watching the huge crowds of people around him suspiciously. Still, listening to Eiji talking so excitedly, looking at his brown eyes shimmering with pure happiness calmed Ash down and made him finally smile. Maybe Sing was right and sometimes good things just happened. Even to him?

  
                                             ______________________

 

  
After boarding the plane it took them a while to find their seats. Since their plane was a so-called Jumbo Jet, many people were trying to find their seats and trying to put away their personal belongings. Eiji noticed that Ash was nervous because people were constantly touching him accidentally when trying to find their seats or the flight attendants were moving past him to ensure all the overhead compartments were used and shut correctly. Eiji sighed in relief when they finally found their seats and could escape all the chaos around them.

Ash took the seat by the window and was looking out of the window to distract himself. But that didn’t work for long. Eiji could practically feel the nervousness radiating off of him. His eyes were darting frantically around to find the nearest exit or escape route as he always did.

Eiji had completely forgotten that this flight had to be his first time on such a big airplane. With so many people. All of them possible enemies targeting him. And with no means of escape. No wonder he was so anxious. He should have expected that. He could have punched himself for not considering that at an earlier point.

To Ash it had to feel like a prison with no means of escape if someone attacked them. The windows were impenetrable and Ash had to be scared and feeling locked up and completely helpless since he wasn’t even allowed to bring a gun. Or any other kind of weapon. He saw him instinctively reach for the spot where his gun normally would have been. That move wasn’t lost on Eiji. His whole body had tensed up and was practically screaming to get out of that iron death trap, probably wondering what he would do in case of a sudden attack… his hands were clenched into fists so tightly they were shaking and his knuckles had turned white from the effort.

Eiji placed his hand on Ash’s trembling one. “Ash, slow down, ok? Everything’s fine. We’re safe. I promise.” He looked sadly at Eiji. “Sorry, I can’t help it. I do that automatically, as if on autopilot.”  
Ash tried to explain himself, still trembling slightly.  
“I know and I don’t blame you after all you’ve been through. But please try to relax, ok?”, Eiji tried to calm him down.

  
After a moment he finally nodded, leaning back and closing his eyes. He was relaxing slightly. It was a start, at least. He tried to relax as well and closed his eyes.

But when they were about to lift off Eiji felt a firm hold on his hand. He opened his eyes again and looked at Ash in surprise. Who stubbornly avoided his gaze and looked the other way out of the window. Stubborn brat, Eiji thought, slightly irritated. But then he noticed that Ash’s hand was trembling again and he tightened the grip on his hand.

When they were finally in the air Ash’s grip slowly loosened and his head drifted slowly to Eiji’s right shoulder, sleeping soundly. Eiji couldn’t help ruffling his blonde hair, but Ash was so deeply asleep he didn’t notice at all. But he finally wore a relaxed expression on his face for once. And the tension had completely left his body. That idiot really slept right through the whole flight, his body finally catching up with the exhaustion from lack of sleep. And from worrying and overthinking things these last few days.

Eiji just woke him up a few times when meals or drinks were served and to convince him to get up once in a while to relax his legs from sitting all the time.  
When he woke him up the last time, Ash just groaned “Eiji, can’t you let me sleep for once, goddammit?”, a still drowsy expression on his face. His whole composure radiated sleepy. It was cute. Until he began to talk. In a grumpy voice. And with a frown on his face.  
Eiji just smiled at him anyway. “Turn around and look out of the window.”, he simply told him.

“Why?”, he mumbled, still half asleep.

“Just do it, Ash! You will regret it afterwards.”, Eiji insisted.

“Fine.” He reluctantly turned around to the window. Then his mouth fell open in surprise, his green eyes lighting up when seeing the dawn of a new day. And the biggest city he’d ever seen. “Is that … Tokyo? We’re … here?”, he asked in astonishment, turning back to Eiji, suddenly wide awake.

“Yeah, we are, sleepy head.” The grumpy look returned. “Stop glaring at me like that, grumpy cat. Honestly, how can you sleep for 14 hours straight? The Lynx is really not more than a cat. Wild or not. Only waking up to eat, drink or walk lazily around.”, Eiji teased him. “Though I have to admit your sleeping face is kinda cute.” Ash frowned at that, asking worriedly “Didn’t you sleep at all?”  
“Don’t worry. I did.”, he reassured him. “But not 14 hours…”, he teased him again. “I’ll never hear the end of that, will I?”, Ash asked, smirking at him. “No, never.”, Eiji said, laughing.

So what’s that tall tower over there? Ash asked to change the topic. “The Sky Tree Tower. It’s a broadcasting and observation tower and the world’s tallest tower.” Eiji explained proudly.

Eiji leaned over to the window and showed him some other sights you were able to make out from the airplane. Ash just looked at all the sights Eiji pointed to and listened intently, completely relaxed for once while looking at Tokyo and all the skyscrapers and towers in fascination.

When the airplane shook due to some turbulences and Ash could see the runway closing in, he suddenly gripped Eiji’s hand again. Since he refused to look at him, being the stubborn idiot that he was, he couldn’t see Eiji’s grinning face. Eiji just put his other arm around Ash’s shoulder, whispering in his ear “日本へようこそ – Welcome to Japan”

                            

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note:  
> I know there’s no way to arrive at dawn in Tokyo when your flight is at the evening in NYC. Just call it artistic freedom.
> 
> When I flew back from Tokyo I could see the sky Tree Tower out of my window. But I flew to Germany and not from NYC. Maybe you can’t see it when flying in from NYC. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well. I appreciate kudos and comments. They totally make my day and give me the motivation I need to write more.  
> I’d love to read what you think about this chapter.🙂
> 
> The next chapter will be about moving in, meeting Eiji’s family and Ash realizing Eiji’s life wasn’t as perfect as he had originally thought. Maybe I include a fluffy scene about Ash’s birthday, since it’s nearly August?!


	11. The Sun Also Rises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash and Eiji are finally in Japan.  
> While Eiji is worried that Ash won’t like it here and tells him about his past, Ash decides to tell him something Eiji had never realized before...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry that chapter took me so long. I couldn’t decide on the end.
> 
> Please note: If you haven’t realized by now, this story is a slow burn. It will take several chapters until Ash realizes that he loves Eiji and several more to realize that Eiji loves him as well. I’ve planned 10 more chapters. They will get romance and the happy handing they deserve, but it will take some time.

_The way your fingers fit in mine,_

_It's five plus five, not rocket science_

(Simple – Florida Georgia Line)

 

"It's nothing much. Compared to our hideout in New York...", Eiji said timidly while opening the door to their apartment. Eiji was still standing in the doorway, a trace of worry crossing his face when they entered their apartment for the first time. Following him inside, Ash smiled to himself. That was so typical Eiji. He had probably spent a lot of time looking for an apartment. Which couldn't have been easy from the US. And the only thing that mattered to him was if Ash liked it.

Ash walked around, taking a quick glance at  every room. Compared the their fancy hideout in New York their apartment here wasn't exactly big, but it had a room for each of them, a living room, a kitchen and one of these typical Japanese bath rooms he had read about where the toilet and the shower were in different rooms. And they even had a balcony. One he wouldn't get shot at. Probably.

Ash came back, putting an arm around Eiji's shoulder. "It's perfect, Eiji.", his eyes lighting up with joy. "We definitely need more furniture, but the apartment is great. Thanks for arranging that. That must have been hard from New York." Ash frowned barely noticeably, his smile fading. "Sorry I wasn't any help."

Eiji smiled back at him, visibly relieved, the tension instantly leaving his body."It was nothing. Ibe and my mom helped me a lot." Ash just couldn't hide his smirk. Eiji was always too modest. He was sure those two had helped with the formalities or the paperwork, but most of the work had probably been done by Eiji himself. Knowing Eiji, he'd carefully choose an apartment for them, bearing in mind that Ash had never had a real home. So he had probably chosen their apartment with great care before renting it. That's why it was so important to Eiji that Ash liked it as well. But downplaying it as if he hadn't helped at all was totally Eiji.

"You worry too much, Eiji.", he said, ruffling his hair. "You know I didn't buy an 8 million dollar condo because I love luxury. Besides, I like this apartment much more. It's smaller, but it looks much more comfy. And if we've really moved in here, it will look even better." Eiji relaxed, his eyes shining with happiness. "Yeah, you're right, I'm sure it will."

When Eiji woke Ash up the next morning, he was blinking a few times at the sunlight streaming through the window. Since he was a heavy sleeper, Ash wasn't able to remember where he was right away. The unfamiliar room wasn't helping. Panic shot through him, making him suddenly shoot up, nearly colliding with Eiji's head in the process. Until he heard Eiji's voice.

"Ash, calm down, you're in Japan. You're safe, ok?", Eiji calmly reminded him, gripping his shoulder softly. Ash immediately relaxed when seeing Eiji. 

"Sorry, I didn't know where I was for a moment.", he apologized, slowly sitting up on the edge of the makeshift bed, a hand covering his face.

"It's ok. You're safe here, I promise. I'm really glad that you're finally here, in Japan, with me.", Eiji reassured him while sitting next to him.

Complete surprise ran over Ash's face while looking at him, then his eyes flashed with relief for a second. "Yeah, me, too...", Ash said hesitantly, still half-asleep, letting himself fall onto the bed again.

Ash, don't go to sleep again.", Eiji scolded him softly. But Ash still saw the trace of a smile hushing over his face."Get up. We have to organize some things.", he said while trying to pull him back up again. And miserably failing.

"Like what?", Ash asked, yawning, but not getting up again. So Eiji lay down next to him. 

"Like cleaning the apartment and buying some furniture. And don't you want to see the area where we'll be living from now on? I wanted to show you around Izumo.", Eiji explained patiently.

"Yeah, that sounds great.", Ash agreed, finally sitting up again. "But it's still so damn early, Eiji!", he whined.   

Eiji looked at him intensely, shaking his head in disbelief. "Sometimes I wonder how you have survived this long in New York. All your enemies would have had to do was to attack you at 8 am and you'd be completely defenseless. Even I could attack you and succeed.", he said, smirking at him.

"Gangs operate at night, not in broad daylight. We operate from the shadows, using the darkness as cover. The day is for normal people like you.", Ash defended himself.

Eiji leaned closer. "You're a normal and ordinary person like me from now on. Rule number one: Normal people live during the day and sleep during the night."

"Normal life sucks then.", Ash sighed dramatically, then reluctantly drank from the cup Eiji had just handed him. "Shit! That's fucking disgusting! What the hell is that? Tastes as if Yut-Lung has poisoned it!", Ash exclaimed, suddenly wide awake. "Wow, it really worked. You're really awake. And here I always thought my mother was joking when she told me strong green tea would wake anyone up.", Eiji just sneered at him. Ash sighed dramatically and ran a hand through his messy blond hair. "If I get up and shower without dozing off again, will I at least get a strong coffee at a nearby café as a reward?", he groaned sleepily. "And I insist on buying a damn coffee machine." 

After they had some breakfast at a nearby café, they began walking through Izumo. It was relatively warm, much warmer than in New York at this time of year, with a fresh breeze in the air. Ash had always worried that a small town by the sea would remind him too much of Cape Cod, but Izumo had absolutely nothing in common with that American vacation spot. He was secretly relieved that Izumo looked, felt and smelled differently. Not only their surroundings, the whole area painted a quite contrasting image compared to the supposedly perfect world of white houses that was Cape Cod. Even the wind felt softer. It didn't feel nearly as harsh and strong as in Cape Cod. It was more like a relaxing breeze that actually felt good with these warm temperatures. When realizing that, Ash slowly relaxed and could finally concentrate on all the things Eiji showed him with a gleam of pride in his eyes.

Eiji showed him the surroundings of their apartment, the city center, the college and some of his favorite shops and cafés. Izumo was really like a completely new world to Ash. Exotic and strange, yet somehow beautiful and mysterious. Things were going a bit more slowly in Izumo. The atmosphere was calmer and not as hectic and intense as in New York. People here weren't rushing from one place to the other at lightning speed, but took their time to do their daily routine. The streets were nearly empty at this time of day, probably because it was a normal work day for most people. He really could imagine staying here. People looked at him a bit strangely, but with his blonde hair and green eyes that was to be expected. It was just as Eiji had described it to him. Quiet and peaceful. Safe. He was still on guard, looking around nervously at the beginning. But there was really nothing suspicious or slightly dangerous that drew his attention. Eventually he relaxed more and more. 

While they were walking through Izumo, Eiji also showed him the street were his parents were still living.

"Eiji, why didn't your parents come pick you up at the airport? I thought your parents have worried a lot about you? It's not because of me, is it? You didn't want them to see –" 

"Ash, stop it.", Eiji said angrily, interrupting him. "I would never ever be ashamed of you, ok?"

I just thought we would need a few days to get used to the time difference and to unpack and organize some things before seeing them.", he explained in a calmer voice. "And you would have been even more nervous if my whole family would have greeted us at the airport.", Eiji continued, smiling, pulling him instantly out of his dark thoughts. Well, Eiji had a point, Ash had to admit at least to himself. 

Of course Eiji had only done if for his sake. He felt guilty for even doubting Eiji's pure motives. Again. But it was still a surprise to him that Eiji knew him so well. Just by looking at him. No explanation necessary. Eiji somehow always knew what was going on in his smart mind. Which he was extremely grateful for. Admitting emotions to himself and accept them was hard enough when you had suppressed them for so long. Admitting emotions to someone else was a nearly impossible task for him. It made him feel vulnerable and defenseless. Even if it was Eiji.

The thought of people like Eiji or Max just doing something for him just because they cared  was a new concept he still had to get used to. For someone as paranoid and suspicious as him, it would probably take some time to get over his trust issues, he realized sadly.

While Eiji was talking, they had reached his school and Eiji showed him the field and the gym where he had trained. Ash looked at Eiji intensely, a worried look dawning on his face. Because Eiji's eyes had suddenly darkened slightly and there was a trace of pain in his eyes.  

"You don't have to show me that, Eiji. Because it's obvious you don't like talking about it.", Ash said honestly.

"Yeah, you're right.", Eiji admitted, but then looked directly into his eyes. "But I don't want to hide things from you either. And if I stop now I'll probably never get the courage to tell you the whole story again." Ash nodded at him, understanding his reasoning.

"You don't know that, but my father has been lying in hospital for a long time. My mom started working because she had to support us. That's why I was really glad that I was a more or less talented pole-vaulter because it kept my mind off other things and I got a scholarship for college because of it. So I could go to college without getting my family into more financial trouble. Pole-vaulting was my way of escaping from the real world. When I pole-vaulted I was happy and forgot all my problems. Maybe it's true what you said. That I knew how to fly. When I was several meters up in the air I felt so happy and absolutely free and invincible. It lasted only a few seconds, but the feeling was still amazing. Absolutely unforgettable." A sad smile had appeared on Eiji's face while remembering that.

Unforgettable, huh? Ash smiled more to himself, remembering his jump in New York. That had been quite unforgettable as well. At least to him. A fact Eiji probably hadn't realized yet.  

"I've never told you that, Eiji, but the moment in New York where you jumped over that wall, I thought that's how pure freedom looked like. Being able to fly anywhere without any limits. You have no idea how much hope you gave me by jumping over that wall. You often told me I was strong and you admired my willpower and strength. But I think you have never realized that when you did that, you've also showed me what real courage is. Because in that moment I had practically given up, but you just refused to do the same, took immediate action and risked your life with that reckless jump to save some complete strangers you didn't even know. No one had ever done something so incredible for me before. I'll never ever forget how breathtaking it was seeing you jump like that."

When Ash finished he saw his hunch confirmed on Eiji's features which revealed pure surprise. As Ash had assumed, Eiji had never realized how much that jump had stunned him. That was the moment where he had begun to admire Eiji, to see that there was more to him than meets the eye...

"I – I really didn't know that meant so much to you. I didn't – ", Eiji stammered, completely flustered while his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. It was really cute when he looked like that.

"I just wanted you to know that.", he added quietly while looking away from him while pushing some blond strands out of his face.

"Thank you for telling me that. I guess I've never realized that it was such a big deal for you.", Eiji admitted honestly.

"It was the most dangerous, reckless and stupid thing anyone had ever done for me. 

Thank you, Eiji. Your jump gave me hope I could free myself from my destiny and fly like you did, free from all the shackles that bound my life to my dark past, to Dino, that city and the syndicate. Eiji just smiled at him softly, holding onto his arm. "You can fly now as well, you know? You just convinced yourself that you can't for too long. Try again. Maybe you'll stumble at first, maybe you'll make a crash-landing, but in the end you'll make it." Ash's eyes lit up with hope for a moment. "Maybe you're right..."

Ash was really surprised about himself. He had probably never been so open and honest with anyone before. But Eiji had never hidden anything from him, had always been telling him the truth, even if he didn't want to hear it. When Eiji began to tell him the story that had probably hurt him the most, the first thought that had occurred to him was to stop him. But he could see in Eiji's sad eyes that he needed someone who would listen, someone who he could tell the whole story to. He had probably never told anyone before. Not all of it at least. He knew exactly how that felt like. Because when he had told Eiji the story about the events in Cape Cod and how he shot his abuser, Eiji hadn't judged him or reacted with disgust, as he had expected. Instead he had stayed and had comforted him, showing him that he wasn't alone. Ash had felt utterly relieved after telling Eiji the truth, especially when Eiji had reacted with compassion and worry instead of disgust and horror. And had stayed by his side even though he knew about his past. Maybe he could do the same for Eiji as well somehow? Or at least try? 

They walked on along the school grounds in comfortable silence. Ash didn't want to push Eiji to continue his story. He knew from personal experience that some things were harder to say than others. So he wanted to give him the time he needed to tell him the rest. After a while Eiji finally continued with the worst part of his story.

"After my injury the doctor told me that it would be impossible to continue pole-vaulting on a professional level. Hearing that, my life just shattered into countless little pieces. I got really depressed because I had lost the only thing in my life that was really important to me at the time. That made me feel happy. Alive. That gave my life a meaning. Nothing in my life mattered anymore after that. I couldn't continue college either because I'd loose my scholarship the following semester at the latest. So why bother trying? So I just gave up. I had no perspective what to do with my life anymore. I felt completely useless and empty inside, like a complete failure. I just lost interest in all the things I used to care about. I also broke up all contact to my friends and just kept to myself. I just hated myself and my life.", Eiji explained sadly. "That's when Ibe saw me and told me that I couldn't continue like that. He told me that maybe a change of scenery would be good for me. And if I wanted to come to New York with him for a while.", he finally finished, looking up at him.

"Eiji, thank you for telling me that. Really." Ash touched his shoulder gently while giving him a grateful look. "I'm sorry I've never asked you about your life before coming to New York.", Ash said quietly, looking guiltily at him. "And I'm really sorry you had to go through all of that. That must have been hard for you. But I'm not sorry you came to New York.", Ash admitted honestly.

Eiji's eyes brightened instantly. "Neither am I. I've met you after all. And many other great people."

"But what do you want to do now that you're here again? Doesn't all of this remind you of... what happened? Before you came to New York?", Ash asked, a frown emerging on his forehead. "What if you get depressed again after coming back here?"

"That won't be happening.", Eiji told him with steadfast determination echoing in his voice. "I'm happy now. Because you are here with me. I'm not alone anymore."

Ash could practically feel the faint blush spreading across his cheeks, but he couldn't look away from him now. He still wasn't fully convinced that Eiji would be fine.

"But what if...?", Ash started, his green eyes darkening again with worry.

"I have you.", Eiji said with complete confidence. Ash had to smile despite himself, his eyes brightening again. It sounded so simple. But he saw in Eiji's warm eyes that he truly believed that.

"But what can I even do?", Ash asked sadly. 

_You are always there to help me. But I never do anything for you in return. With all my emotional baggage and traumatic experiences, how can I ever help or support you...?_

"Just stay by my side. That's enough. I know you don't fully understand that yet, Ash, but I need you as well.", Eiji clarified, taking his hand. Ash just stared at him wide-eyed, surprise all over his face. But he didn't pull back. At first he wanted to, but that small gesture felt ... he didn't even know how to describe it. It somehow just felt... right? As if they belonged together, inseparable. It was such a small gesture, but Ash realized in that moment that he really wasn't alone anymore. That Eiji really wanted him to stay. _Forever_. That simple touch of their hands sent a new warmth spreading through his body. He had no idea what that feeling was, but it felt great. It made him feel special. Especially when Eiji was smiling at him like that, a smile reflecting pure happiness as if he was the only person who mattered to him... So he finally gripped Eiji's hand as well, smiling shyly back at him.

With Eiji he felt as if he had found a real home for the first time, a place where he belonged and was accepted just as he was, even with all his emotional scars, his traumatic experiences, his nightmares and his suffering. A comfortable place that was safe and warm where he could always return to. Even if that place was in another, completely foreign world where he couldn't even understand the language. Yet. Maybe Eiji was right and everything would work out as long as they were together? He tightened the hold on his hand.

_Sometimes home is not a place, but a person._

Max had told him that once in New York, but at the time he hadn't understood what he had meant by that. Until now.

"So what are you going to do now?", Ash asked after they were heading back to their apartment again. 

"I want to finish college and my parents agree with that. But I probably won't get financial aid after taking a break for more than one year and a scholarship it out of the question. And I don't want to be a burden on my family.", Eiji explained sadly.

"Then don't.", Ash simply said. "I'll pay for it. I still have Dino's money."

"No, Ash, you can't! I can't accept that! Do you know how much college fees are until I'm finished?", Eiji exclaimed, his eyes drowning in worry and guilt. 

Eiji knew exactly how he felt about Dino's money. That he didn't want to rely on dirty money that had been gained by abusing and killing people. Especially kids like him. He had stolen it in order to hurt and weaken Dino and his syndicate, not because he intended to spend that money. He had no problems spending it for a hideout, weapons and other things helping him destroying Dino and Foxx. But he didn't want to use it for his personal use. Using that bloodstained money would make him feel dirty and disgusting. It would make him feel ashamed of himself. Because of that money he had suffered through unimaginable pain and agony half of his life. Only because Dino wanted to make even more money by using, destroying and killing kids like him. Using that filthy money tainted with blood of innocent kids was a kick in the face of all those victims who had died because of Dino. He had just kept the money as a last resort. He didn't know what to do with it yet. Maybe he'd just donate it anonymously to organizations that were helping kids like him...

But it was something different if it was helping Eiji and his family.

"Probably not more than 80 million US dollars?", Ash grinned at him. "Because that's how much money we have left. So why not spend it on something useful? Besides, you saved my life. More than once. After everything you've done for me that's the least I can do. I've understood by now that Japanese people aren't exactly good at accepting help from others, but make an exception this time, ok? For me?", Ash asked, winking at him. A faint blush spread across Eiji's face before the wrinkles on his forehead appeared again.

"But can you even access the money from Japan?" 

He grinned wickedly. "I'm an evil mastermind, remember? The money's naturally under a fake name and the off shore account is well-hidden. But I can access it online anytime. It's dirty money, so I don't want to rely on it for my daily living expenses. But if it's helping you, I don't mind using it.", Ash explained rationally.

"I hate it when you come up with reasonable arguments I can't argue against.", Eiji admitted reluctantly, crossing his arms. "Are you really sure?"

Ash just nodded. "I take that as a yes then.", Ash smirked at him. 

Eiji sighed, apparently finally giving up. "You have that stubborn look on your face that tells me you won't accept no for an answer."After a moment, he asked "But what about you? What do you want to do?"

"I guess I'll have to learn Japanese first. And maybe find a part-time job or something like that at the beginning. It would help keep me busy, get money and improve my Japanese skills."

"The college offers Japanese courses, that's easy. But a part-time job will be more difficult. But we'll find a way.", Eiji assured him.

In the afternoon they were busy setting up their apartment, cleaning it, taking the measurements of all the rooms and buying furniture. Ash had actually fun doing that because it kept his smart mind busy. Ash was surprised how easy everything worked out between them. Despite their bickering and their sarcastic remarks that Ash silently loved, they mostly agreed on the most important things. Being with Eiji was just so easy. He loved how Eiji's face always betrayed him when they were discussing something. How he always beamed at him when they were thinking the same thing or agreeing on something. And how his forehead got that tiny frown and his eyes darkened slightly to a chestnut brown when they didn't. How his eyes widened with unhidden surprise when he had told Eiji he didn't take notes of the measurements because he naturally remembered them all perfectly. 

After returning Eiji cleaned the kitchen and all the things they had bought, put them away in different shelves or cupboards and installed the coffee machine, Ash put up a table and a few shelves for their living room without breaking a sweat before cleaning the living room as well. Luckily the kitchen was one of the few things they were able to purchase from the previous owner. 

A few days later the rest of their furniture was delivered, so their apartment finally felt comfortable and cozy. Ash and Eiji celebrated by enjoying a rather warm spring evening on their balcony with a few beers, enjoying the soft evening breeze. Ash was a bit worried at first, still remembering the scene in New York where Eiji got shot through a window, but slowly relaxed when Eiji took his hand. Living in a peaceful word was what he had wished for, but he still had to get used to the deafening silence and the calm and relaxing atmosphere surrounding him. To someone like him who had been taught always to assume the worst, it felt like the calm before a storm. As if something terrible would happen later when he least expected it. The mere thought scared him to death.

For the first time in his life he was truly happy. So much that it hurt. Because he was so fucking afraid that it wouldn't last. There were moments where he just wanted to escape. To run away from it all. To make sure he couldn't hurt Eiji anymore. His greatest fear was that he somehow put Eiji in danger or that his enemies would find him eventually. 

But his fears just dissolved into nothingness every time he looked into Eiji's warm eyes, full of compassion, honesty and comfort. They always pulled him out of his dark thoughts. He could just drown in these eyes. They were like a ray of sunshine at the end of a pitch black tunnel that gave him a glimmer of hope to escape the eternal darkness surrounding him. Maybe he really deserved a happy life as Eiji has already told him so many times? He really wanted to believe that. But it was still hard for him to accept that. But at least he was trying, Eiji always reminded him. Maybe that was enough for now...

After a while, it got chilly on their balcony, so Ash sat on the sofa reading one of his books while Eiji looked through the mountain of photos he had printed out. After a while he walked over to him and sat beside him. "Did you really have to print all of them? You could have just saved them to a SD card or something.", Ash asked curiously. "How many photos did you take? 3000?"

"Probably more. Of course I have saved them all to a SD card as well. Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer to have physical copies of my photos. And those are just the best ones, only 200 or so. I need to hand in a photo project to enroll at college again. I wanted to use some of these for it. 

Eiji looked through the rest together with Ash who was impressed how many photos Eiji had taken of all the places they'd been to. But especially from him and his gang. Unlike the photos of his abusers, Eiji's photos were full of life and mirrored Eiji's pure and innocent look of the world. It made them look special and gave them a unique feeling. 

Suddenly, he saw a photo that had piqued his interest. He picked it up. "When did you take that? I can't even remember when that was...", Ash wondered, more speaking to himself while staring at the photo in amazement. It was a photo where were both of them were sitting on a sofa. Eiji sat on the right edge of the sofa while Ash leaned on him, sleeping soundly. His head was resting on Eiji's shoulder, a smile playing on his lips, some strands of his blond hair having fallen over his eyes. Eiji had put an arm protectively around his shoulder, smiling at the camera.

"Oh, that one must have been shortly after we escaped from Dino's mansion. That was one of the evenings when we enjoyed a quiet evening alone for once and watched some movie. After 15 minutes of watching it your head dropped on my shoulder sleeping soundly. Ash stared at the photo for a long time, a deep frown emerging on his face. Apparently Eiji thought Ash was annoyed because he said "I'm sorry, Ash, I probably should have asked you... But I didn't want to wake you up."

Why?", Ash asked him while still staring at the photo intensely.

"Your face looked so peaceful. I just couldn't do it. At that moment I promised myself to protect you. Always."

"I can protect m – ", Ash began, glaring at him.

"I know that.", Eiji said, taking his hand again. "But that doesn't mean I want to protect you any less.", Eiji tried to explain while looking at the photo as well. "I took that photo because I loved that relaxed expression on your face. I wanted that moment of peace to last forever. Frozen in time. Especially for you. That's why I took that picture. Are you angry?", he asked, his voice resonating with a hint of worry.

"No, why would you think that?", Ash exclaimed slightly irritated, looking directly at him. 

"Your face looked kind of weird. You haven't stopped staring at the picture. You were burning holes into it.", Eiji clarified. 

"Oh. I just ... didn't know I could look like that..." He hesitated for a moment.  "So ... at ease, so, I don't know, happy? Vulnerable? I wasn't sure that's really me in the photo. I look like a completely different person. Not like a ruthless gang leader or a killer devoid of any emotions. I ... I look like a teenager, so small and fragile. I'm still not sure that's me...", he tried to explain.", still staring at the photo in disbelief.

Eiji's eyes filling with sadness while boring into his hurt more than any stab wound ever could. "Ash, you are a teenager. But never a killer. Please stop saying that about yourself. It makes me angry and sad. Because it's not true." He pointed at the picture again. "You see that smile on your lips and your head resting on my shoulder? Leaning on me? That's who you really are. Someone who's kind and always caring for those around him. Who just needs a shoulder to lean on sometimes. Someone he can trust. A place where he can rest peacefully, where he feels safe and protected. Ash smiled at him. "Yeah, maybe you're right. It's just hard for me to forget what people have said about me all my life. If you hear that long enough you start believing it eventually."

"Maybe you should keep that photo. It will remind you of the kind person you really are. Look at it when you doubt yourself again.", Eiji suggested, handing him back the photo.

"Ok. Thank you. I'll keep it."

Eiji kept looking at the rest of the photos for a while longer sorting them into different piles. 

Ash watched him, but lost interest after a while. He was so damn tired because Eiji always forced him to get up early, telling him he had to get up for language courses or work as well and he should get used to it. He could be really relentless as well...

Ash let his head drop on Eiji's shoulder, leaning closer. Eiji looked up in surprise, then a smile spread across his face. "You shouldn't sleep that way, it can't be comfortable." 

"It looked really comfortable in the photo. I just wondered if it's really so relaxing to sleep on your shoulder.", Ash told him, yawning. 

"And?", Eiji asked curiously, putting a hand around his shoulder exactly like in the photo. "Is it?", Eiji asked curiously. 

But Ash was already sleeping soundly, a small smile lingering on his face. Eiji just grinned, shaking his head slightly, grabbed his phone and took a photo of them. He'd written a title beneath it. 

おかえり – Welcome home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for (still) reading my story. I hope you’ll like the chapters in Japan as well.🙂
> 
> I’d really love to read what you think about the chapter.
> 
> I really love your comments, kudos and bookmarks, they mean the world for me and make me smile for the rest of the day.

**Author's Note:**

> I think there will be 3 chapters in all.
> 
> The next one won’t be that peaceful and involve more blood, violence and a panic-stricken Eiji;-)
> 
> If you enjoy my work please tell me in the comments.  
> If you find mistakes, have suggestions or tips, you can tell me as well.
> 
> You can find me here:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/emeraldeyes23  
> https://mobile.twitter.com/Kiya_AJC


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